I’m dating a Bond girl!

This is Sloane’s dresser in case anybody couldn’t figure it out!

I’m currently in the fight for my life now.  John Hamm just became available and I don’t think I’ve got the silver tongue to keep up with him should he pursue any women in say the Madison, Indiana area.  Skipah the blogger versus Don Draper debonair ad man, on paper this is more of a mismatch than crippled gazelle versus a pack of cheetahs in the Serengeti.  Never fear Miss Madison assures me she’s not the Don Draper type, but in six seasons of Mad Men I saw him swoon more women than an All-State high school quarterback.  I’ve got any ace in the hole with Mr. Hamm though have you seen Million Dollar Arm?  I didn’t think so and neither has anybody else.

In other news Miss Madison turns out to be a huge James Bond fan, I cannot stress enough how awesome this is.  When Mr. Skipah set out in the dating world many moons ago he had three rules.  Must be a parent (exceptions were going to be made for Katy Perry), must not be a brunette with a bitchy attitude, and must like James Bond!  I might have made that last one up, but big bonus points nonetheless.  If you are like me and living your life vicariously through a fictional British MI-6 agent then this link is for you!  Spectre is opening on November 6th in the U.S. and guess who has a birthday on that very day?  To quote Leroy Jethro Gibbs and rule # 39 there is no such thing as coincidences.

No blog last night as yours truly was out way too late to even comprehend trying to put two sentences together.  Crazy partying with Miss Madison on a school night you say?  Spontaneous fishing trip to the Gulf of Mexico?  Covert ninja mission to rob Fort Knox of all its gold?  You would be wrong on all three of those choices, Mr. Skipah got to spend his evening at the Kentuckiana Medical Center (KMC) chaperoning a friend to the emergency room.  I was asked if I could take her since all her other options fizzled out and I didn’t hesitate one moment and was out the door and off to play ambulance driver.  Nothing serious, just a lingering condition that needed treated immediately, and I was more than happy to help out.  I did earn my “platonic” merit badge for the evening and she even told me to get lost so I could call Miss Madison before she started checking her eyelids for holes in them.

The KMC is a relatively newer facility and the waiting room reminded me of a five star hotel (I think I’ve stayed in one of those before), other than that this place sucked!  Three hours and thirty minutes later we were heading back home.  Busy night in the ER you say?  Nope THREE effing patients the whole night, one had a cellulitis flare up and the other patient had a tendinitis episode.  Note to any nurse reading this please clear the monitor in the room before you leave.  Also I’m pretty sure the guy with the throbbing knee was looking for a little more than Advil.  Yes loyal readers this nurse left the whole ER wing up on the computer in my friend’s room.  We were both in shock it was taking that damn long and that was all the patients in the whole damn place!  My friend spent three hours and change in this place for nothing more than a shot and an antibiotic!  The doctor running the ER wing must have went to the Ivy Tech Winchester, Kentucky area medical school because I’ve seen better doctors on General Hospital.  I think he was about to order a lobotomy to check for appendicitis!

Nicer than the average ER.

Who doesn’t take random selfie’s in the ER waiting room?  Indiana University fan here, Louisville Cardinal gear is only worn for walking or when stranded in Milton, KY and needing a t-shirt.

The blonde bomber returned to the castle for her weekly overnight and the first thing out of her mouth was can Miss Madison come over for dinner this weekend!  I think she likes her more than I do.  Other than that is was a bacon and egg omelet for dinner and then off to school for our weekly RCIA classes.  The next phase of #SloaneStaysHome is about to kickoff:  Hammy, Sloane, and I are going to be spending the weekend gathering evidence and pulling records as I have my first exam a week from today.  Since I became The Little Blogger That Could a myriad (that means a lot Kentuckian) of stuff has been happening behind the curtains in Skipah’s world.  I picked up a key ally in all of this, she’s eight years old, rumor has it she looks like me, and she shares the same last name as me.  She has vowed to me she will try as hard as she can in school to keep doing well and even waited until I picked her up from school to make sure she demonstrated her academic prowess (homework) with me.  I told her weeks ago if she wants to continue to go to her current school she needs to make sure she kicks ass!  She’s living up to her part of the deal now it is time for dad to live up to his part of the deal.

Chef Mathews breaking out the bone china for dinner tonight!

Dad has plenty up his sleeve, but not much I can share on here.  The legal team of Skipah’s Realm understands the noose he has been put in, but let’s just say “I got this.”  The internet is amazing, and EVERYBODY has an ego and loves a good story.  Since day one of all this drama I never lost my eye on the ultimate prize, I ran astray on my tactics at times but I’ve honed those skills and then some.  I won’t ever have to explain how a hashtag works ever again (locals should get that), Skipah’s Realm started out as my little piece of therapy now it’s my online voice and it is getting louder by the day.  Stay tuned loyal reader depending on how the wind blows in the upcoming weeks we might have to put up hurricane warnings on the interwebs.

About it for tonight, I’m trying to convince Miss Madison she would make a perfect Bond girl.  Hammy has switched it up and started drinking Black Russians and bitching about the ending of From Russia With Love, and I’ve got work to do!

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  4. The single man’s greatest gift! The paper plate!

  5. That bone china is the best!! An endless supply to be tossed at will!!

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  9. You’re a good friend! 🙂
    Miss Madison has good taste. Love Bond as well! Lol!
    Eye on the prize…

  10. It’s my parental weekend so it will be a blast as always!

  11. I like your attitude and supporting daughter and homework, yours included. The omelet looks delicious, Gary. Hi and have a great weekend! ~ Robin

  12. About the only thing that place had going for it!

  13. Thanks pal, and I know James Bond is real….duh!

  14. Entertaining post. Sorry to hear of the ER trip and the info on the monitor is disturbing. Don’t these folks know about HIPAA? But on the upside the lobby area is very nice. 🙂

  15. You know, Don Draper on swoons those women b/c it’s in the script anyway, so you have that going for you too. But watch out, James Bond is real!!

    Sorry to hear about the ER trip, but glad nothing serious. And way to go on the ER selfie!

    I’m positive Sloane will never let you go and she’s the best ally to have. Keep on daddying man!

  16. I have nothing to complain about right now other than this b.s. custody.

  17. Lol! You literally had me rolling in laughter. I even read favorite quotes out loud with my nanny!

    Great to hear you are so incredibly happy! Seriously, you deserve it!

  18. I actually have seen Million Dollar Arm. In fact I have seen it multiple times recently as it is on heavy rotation on one of the movie channels that my husband watches relentlessly. 😉

  19. For what it’s worth, I prefer 30 Rock version of Jon Hamm vs. Mad Men 😀

Tell Skipah all about it!