A Thing or Two I’ve Learned

Well that much anticipated parenting piece I was going to write I balked on after reading all the fine print and so forth.  It wasn’t exactly a piece for some highly respected parenting group, but after looking into it more it was kind of a waste of my time even if it was worth a crap since once I would have submitted it they pretty much got total creative and content control over it and from the way it read take any credit for it.  If I want to win my own Nobel Peace Prize for Literature I’ll submit to the committee myself, otherwise I’m not letting some rinky dink website loot my literary gold to hornswoggle a few more readers and sponsors.  Eff that!

Got the blonde bomber tucked away for the night and enjoying this nice mosquito laden evening on the back porch typing one little word at a time on my laptop with the soothing background noise of a good ole domestic squabble going on at the house behind me.  Some gentleman who is well versed in sailor speak is giving his “female” friend the what for.  Not sure who is at fault in this one (I’m blogging live during this argument), but he’s demanding his money back for a massage (I’m not sure if it was of the Asian variety or not) or he’s going to embarrass her at work.  I’m well versed in sailor speak myself but I’m feverishly scribbling down notes and learning new adjectives and phrases to use with the eff word.  Other than watching Sloane play softball today this is by far the highlight of my day.

From what I can surmise they are boyfriend/girlfriend and he bought her a gift certificate for a massage (that should have scored him some serious bedroom points) and she gave this gift certificate away to someone else (a female friend….maybe) and he’s pissed.  Sounds like some accusations of infidelity on her end as he is threatening to put “that guy in the hospital”, it has now reached Defcon-4 status in this argument as I think all of southern Indiana heard him call her the magical “C” word at least a dozen times followed by many colorful adjectives that even the most seasoned of sailor speak would promote him to admiral in the sailor cussing Navy………..and now we have finality in this argument as the “Eff You Bitch” closing argument followed by a quick car start and spinning out of tires on pavement.  That was frigging awesome to hear in person from roughly 40 yards.

It’s my first of FIVE Wednesdays this month and Sloane had softball.  Little Babe Ruth made contact both times and reached base once.  The team improved to 4-0 with a solid 10-1 win.  Watching the improvement in her since March is just mind boggling.  Two months ago she threw the ball at me that made worms tuck and run back underground tonight while playing catch with her pre game I was wishing I had a glove with me.  Her head coach and staff are amazing, the good girls are even better, and the ones that just like to play in the dirt (Sloane) are adequate now.

Get that damn camera out of my face look!

Sloane made friends with these two gigantic Great Pyrenees!



Get that elbow up sweetie!

Winner, winner chicken dinner!

More than likely there will be more  gushing about my daughter tomorrow as we have a make-up game tomorrow.  Note to self…..wash her uniform……..I don’t want her to be the “stinky” child tomorrow.  Already get enough stereotypical jokes from being a single dad, no reason to enhance them and give the man hater mom crowd any more ammo from the myriad of single men who sucked as fathers.

Back to the whole point of this post tonight before the verbal jousting of the neighbors really sucked me in like a good spy novel.  I wrote a 1200 word piece on fatherhood and divorce and was pretty proud of it.  It was a real life journal (much like this blog only “cleaner”) of all my shortcomings as a father pre-separation and all the bullshit her mother has put me through post separation when one of her “points” was to be a better father.  Any long time reader knows I almost threw that away in June, 2014 also any long time reader knows that little blonde headed rug rat is my world now.  Fast forward to April 2015 and it has become apparently clear that she never had a fathering issue with me, but thankfully she did because I did become a better father.

As I have said a few times over the past nine months ever since I became a parent the one driving force was to never be like my sorry sack of shit sperm donor.  No matter what ever happened with her mother and I there would be no doubt she would always know her father and I would be active in her life.  Other than a brief out of body experience once I learned of divorce (and yes it was beyond idiotic) that child has always known her dad was in her life and loved her to the fullest.  I just have to juggle the absolute hatred I have now for her mother and the delicate tight rope of biting my tongue in half when she is with me gushing about her mother and the Mr. Wonderful.  Long story short, it was never about me and my fathering skills.  One day I may turn the article into a blog post but let me get through court in May first because at this point I have no idea what the ex will try to pull on me when it comes to this blog and family law.

For some one that couldn’t wait to get away from me she can’t wait for a blog post to hit the internet.  Hey wait a minute I’ve got my first confirmed blog “stalker” I must be doing something right!  Actually I know I’ve got at least two people that can’t wait until I hit that big ole PUBLISH button on the right hand side of a WordPress post screen.  The other of course is my original blog stalker, hi mom I love you too!

About it for the night I need to transcribe these notes on how to properly use the eff word in an argument (I learn something new every day) and Hammy is bitching about the Reds bullpen and signaling his KGB friends to send Rubles so he can lay heavy action down this weekend on Ocho, Ocho, Ocho and American Pharaoh!

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  4. We had all are rubles tied up on the horse than run third, the other crap is beyond silly now.

  5. I felt as if I was live at that argument, I was on the edge of my seat. I’d be mad too if I bought my woman a massage and she gave it away to someone else.
    I hate to hear all the headache you’re going through with the court nonsense. Hopefully your next court date goes well for you.
    I’m hoping Hammy got those rubles and threw down a bag of ’em on American Pharoah!

  6. Mine is FBI/CIA level stalking!

  7. Great times out on the porch at night! 🙂 I always get a kick out of sitting on mine and just listening to “life” around me. What would we do without our moms? I love my own, she is an awesome blog stalker and I am so grateful for her 🙂 🙂

  8. How the police did not get involved in that argument is beyond me. I guess since most of my neighbors are retired they were already in bed when it went down. They might as well had a bullhorn they were so loud.
    Unlike Avery, Sloane hates getting her picture taken I have to sneak attack her.

  9. I fully expected the police to show up that’s how loud they were.

  10. Giving us live news about your neighbors was awesome! Not many bloggers get to do that…..not that I know of at least.

    Good for you for not signing away something you put your heart into to write, I’m positive that will only serve to benefit you when the time comes. Hope you are able to share with us after this stupid court thing you have to attend.

    Way to go, Sloane, for rocking another great game! And whoa, she’s definitely giving you the evil eye in that one pic. Watch out or your camera might get smashed! Which sucks even more since it’s probably also your phone.

    If you hear more from your “effing” neighbors, please make sure to fill us in. I’m sure your stalker ex and stalker mom would love to read about it too!

  11. Human drama usually makes for the best blogging! A good read, even if it means another relationship somewhere going down the tubes.

  12. Off does the trick. Listening to the comedic gold of my neighbors I would have been oblivious to mountain lion standing next to me let alone mosquitoes.

  13. Don’t know how you can concentrate on writing when a swarm of mosquitoes wants to eat you. Hope you have some bug spray!

  14. They were LOUD, I just happen to have a front row ticket for the show

  15. Good morning Gary,

    YAY! So glad they are still undefeated! Sorry that it wasn’t going to work out with the guest post you wrote. What a bummer especially after you put in all that hard work.
    What a trip about your neighbors though! Are your houses really close together or were they just that loud? I can’t believe he called her the C word more than once and is still breathing!

    Wishing you a terrific day!

    Much love,
    Lysa xx

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