American Telephone and Telegraph

The fountain drink epidemic in southern Indiana is reaching crisis levels!

Interesting day in my little sector of the world. Hammy has pulled his greatest feat ever!  Somehow he has shut down the entire cell phone grid in parts of the Midwest and Southeastern quadrants of the United States.  In the Louisville Metro area (that’s me) American Telephone and Telegraph Corporation seems to be the most affected (that’s AT & T Kentuckian) along with T-Mobile.  At least for once T-Mobile customers can bitch about something other than their service sucks since it sounds like this outage doesn’t have anything to do with them.  Speculation is all over Facebook (America’s most trusted new source) that North Korea or China hacked us or it’s an elaborate inside job by a disgruntled employee.  In other news in the very near future Skipah is more than likely going to be doing a Facebook friend purge?  The no cell phone service sucks, and don’t give me the argument that “how did we ever survive before cell phones” either.  I like modern conveniences if you don’t I’m sure I can find you a nice little spot in Appalachia that will be more than happy to accommodate you!

When you are an internationally recognized blogging superstar, or you are me, your cell phone becomes your own little personal assistant.  WordPress notification letting me know that A Opiniated Man/Harsh Reality replied to a message I get it instantly and can respond.  Why that’s the sound my phone makes when I get an email alert…..I’ll be damned that Jules Strawberry and her burlesque addiction just went live.  Oh hell I just got a text message from mom……no mom no post last night I do have some sort of life outside of blogging.  That sounded like a Facebook message on my phone…….hold on Adventures From the Maple Tree give me a second to figure out why you can’t get a picture to post on your blog.

The point being is blogging while quite addicting, is also like a low paying second job that requires you to be able to act instantly.  The smartphone has made it a little easier for all of us that don’t sit in front of a computer all day, hey wait I have an office job! We all look out for each other as much as we can, shit Spike said  his wife dressed up like a bitch for Halloween….I think he meant witch I better send him a message and be sure otherwise he will end up sleeping in the garage while his wife has the car running.  The Rookie Dad just posted his Subs suck, I think he meant the Cubs, I better make sure he didn’t overdose on some Kris Bryant Kool-Aid.  All of this is possible because of our own little office assistant, unfortunately mine relies on AT & T!

The real downside of not having a cell phone this evening is I don’t get to talk to Sloane or even message her.  I did send a few messages in a bottle to her tonight while she is staying Lawrenceburg, KY on a frigging school night!  I would send an email but last I heard she is internet less in the land of spittoons and dueling banjos.  Anybody else that remotely matters to me I can still talk to on Google Hangouts or Facebook messenger since I have internet at home, anybody that wants to hear my charming voice better to learn to use Skype in the immediate future!

In other news today The Colon Mission received a twenty dollar donation.  Even added a new team member, Miss Madison is on board and ready to walk with the army in the name of colon cancer research.  She even suggested we need to set up a training schedule.  Me being the complete and utter dipshit, responded “I’m not running a 5k are you nuts!” She informed me “training” would be an excuse for us to meet up…..oh duh that’s sounds like something I would suggest.  The lesson there is I’m an idiot!

About it for the night going to torture withhold vodka from Hammy until he fixes this AT & T problem he may or may not have created.  Also I have to finish up a Q & A with a reporter from Wave 3 (Louisville, KY NBC affiliate), divorced dads who have had to piss up wind I’m fighting for us all!  Once I break Hammy and get AT & T fixed hopefully the night will end with me being able to talk to Miss Madison to plan future training dates!


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Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Men must learn to catch on to our subtle hints at wanting to spend time with you Lol

  2. Pingback: #PinchMe |

  3. I live and die by the phone as well. Lmao

  4. I try to wait to answer comments until I log on at night, but my Type-a ways makes I hard sometimes. You’re quite the go-to blogger lately, has Miss Madison caught on yet?

  5. Ha! I’m with you, man. I answer my comments pretty fast thanks to my cell phone. Although, I make a lot more spelling errors using my phone because of my fat fingers and my lack of patience doesn’t help much either.

    Hope you get service back soon.

  6. What are you looking for? diet Dr Pepper? Man if they have it at Holiday World you cools just but a ticket and fill a 50 gallon drum!! Just a thought …

  7. Thanks for the shout out, and I did get the photo thing figured out and finally posted! The phone thing did suck today. Had people I couldn’t reach when I called and when you work in sales, that’s a very bad thing!

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