Build the Wall Already!

Haven’t seen this girl since March 13th!  Blasphemy, a broken system needs overhauled!

For all those that inquired, Skipah and his gang are alive and well after this weekend’s winds.  Wind socks hadn’t seen that much action since September of 2008 when Hurricane Ike made it this far north still packing 70 mph winds.  Midwesterners still talk about that surreal day like we describe our first child being born.  Pipe down, Gulf coasters, palm trees bend a hell of lot better than maple trees!  No power for a week in most parts and look forward to a new Midwest baby boomer generation sometime in the 2030s!  Thankfully, it wasn’t quite that bad this time, but gusty nonetheless.

It didn’t ruin Miss Madison’s and my weekend though.  We were invited to be special guests at the Governor’s Ball in Indianapolis Saturday night, but we are way to cool for that, so we opted instead for a Madison, Indiana dignitaries Final Four watch party instead.  There was Nick who drives the Anheuser Busch route in the area and doubles as a pork loin ninja with some special six generation recipe that I can only describe as “pork ecstasy!”  Jayr, the party’s host, not only had a spread to feed the French Foreign Legion, but this is a guy that lost a 50-inch flat screen to the wind storm earlier in the day.  Instead of letting it ruin his good mood, he turned this life changing event into a gigantic babysitter—he let all the kids in attendance take ball bats repeatedly to it.  Not to be outdone was the area police detective in attendance who just nabbed his biggest collar in his career with the arrest of the wannabe Madison Unabomber .

Spicy Chorizo Potato Bites!  #FoodPorn

Quick tangent, some whack-a-mole has set off two very small pipe bombs in Madison (no one injured, I’ve seen oil leaks leave a bigger mark), and, thanks to the fine work of the Madison police department, hopefully this moron is playing Go Fish with the other inmates in cell block six in the Michigan City, Indiana state penitentiary for the rest of his lifetime.

Delicious, anybody that hosts a party and makes real burgers instead of pre-pattied salt burgers gets two thumbs up from the Skipah!

The party was great, the atmosphere better, and the basketball sucked.  Poor Patty’s Oklahoma Sooners took a beat down I haven’t seen since a Hulk Hogan wrestling match in the 80s.  Hammy just informed me that wrestling isn’t real, but, believe me, when Hogan beat Andre the Giant this pre-teen lad celebrated like he just found out what sex is!  The other game was close for a bit, but, as Indiana and Notre Dame fans can attest, when North Carolina is playing like that they aren’t going to lose.

I should have just slept in Sunday morning, but the mysterious Mr. Skipah never rests when the sun is out and there is work to be done outside.  Unfortunately, most of it is self-created by me, but who cares—I like things to look good.  I had one small landscaping project to finish and that required a trip to Lowes.  Before the day was over that would be four trips to Lowes, a sudden ibuprofen addiction, and more than likely back surgery in the near future.

Bargain shopping!  Three bucks for a Foxglove perennial!

Sometimes I should just say no!

Introducing a new division of Skipah’s Realm the business, Skipah’s DIY (that’s do-it-yourself Kentuckian) Outdoor Projects.  Miss Madison was so happy with me fixing up the “small” side of the two landscape areas of our front yard, and, feeling sorry for me doing what I could on the other one without spending a trillion dollars, took pity on me by suggesting that I go ahead and start on the other side.  Trip number two to Lowes was quickly in the works and fifty freaking blocks later, we were home, and I was back to work.  She did offer to make me a sandwich at least.

Once that task was complete, Miss Madison had a classroom assignment she had to see after, and patted me on the head like a good dog and was off on her merry way.  I was happy with my handy work, but it was only a half complete project.  Then the 25-watt light bulb went off in my head (my head is very dim), let’s make this a business purchase, blog about it, and voila tax write off next year!  Some of the crap I’ve heard of people writing off on business expenses would make Donald Trump blush.

I did two sponsored posts this week, so what the hell, the business could spring for it. Let’s get this wall done right!  Forty blocks and two trips to Lowe’s later, I had it all done to surprise Miss Madison when she got home from her grave robbing expedition.  I’m just kidding; she and her class are working on mapping an old graveyard in the area, and she had to do a little research on her “off” time.  Now pass me another ibuprofen!  Full scale wall building was much easier when I was in my late 20s not late 30s!  Seeing the smile on Miss Madison’s face made this budding bulging disc well worth it.

About it for now, time to watch some baseball (opening day) and cry myself to sleep not because of my aching body, but because my beloved Cincinnati Reds are going to suck worse than the Enron business model!  At least my fantasy baseball team should be somewhat competitive. Oh that’s right, I fell asleep during the draft, and I have four second baseman and a wife beating shortstop who is suspended until kingdom come!  First world problems, I know, but there are bigger fish to fry in the future, and it is time to rig up just the right bait!

Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Miss Madison has a laundry list of projects for me so look for more posts in the future.

  2. Solid wall, the outdoor project looks fantastic! Hope you would share this landscaping skills periodically.

  3. Come on down to Indiana LOL

  4. Good dog. That’s a wall I can get behind. Literally?

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  8. It’s on my media kit page, and thanks for the tip. I’m about to do a whole site redesign when I find the time.

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  10. Yeah some whack job detonated two of them.

  11. Nice job on your building/handy skills!!

    And Madison Unabomber? Wtf!! I need to look that up!

  12. I’m still devastated to this day!

  13. Wrestling isn’t… isn’t real? Nooooooo!

  14. Hell of a game that was for sure, thanks for the compliments on the wall. I think my back finally recovered today. Cicadas? I remember a playoff game with the Indians & Yankees years ago were those little critters were swarming the players and landing on the pitchers heads!

  15. I want to say this before I forget to: the wall looks fantastic, Gary! 🙂
    I watch Cincinnati and Cleveland in baseball, whatever is on when I have a chance. Both parents and 2 exes were from Cincy. My brothers take me to the Indians games.
    I feel bad for those like your friend who lost his huge TV! 🙁 Such a great attitude, tho!
    Have you heard we may expect cicadas? Yikes! Coming back since last time was 1999.
    Your daughter little miss, looks pretty in pink.
    Lastly, I was glad my brother who once went to UNC told me Villanova deserved their NCAA championship. This made me happy for the underdogs. Happy Spring, Gary and Miss Madison.

  16. Ummm, maybe. But you are so YOUNG to me.!

  17. You want to discuss wind? Try living in the windy city area (Chicago, IL metro) for 18 months! Was not in a wheelchair then. Just about blew away more times than I can mention!

    So we relocated to the Colorado Denver metro area. Yeah sun shined about every single day, but the wind whipping over the mountains was way worse than the windy city ever experienced! Loved that place though. Still miss it and our old neighbours. The people were great, liked their pets even more! Patches (calico cat) should have passed away a long time ago. Moe (Boxer dog) who wouldn’t hurt a flea, might still be alive.

    With all the pork you were eating, be glad you haven’t ripped your pants from blowing winds of a different, smelly type! Keep away from your little girl if you have that severe of a gas problem! She doesn’t deserve to be tortured anymore!

  18. Dreading 40 LOL, she was more than pleased even let me sleep in the house instead of the garage for once.
    No kidding on a right of passage, it’s the worst kept secret in the “How to be a guy” handbook!
    Sorry about your Sooners, that was ugly.

  19. Anne you are too kind!

  20. Yeah, fellow Sooner alum here, sad times.What’s not sad is your great landscaping skills! I know about making multiple trips to the store, I think it’s like a right of passage. Or at least it should be.

    Way to go man, I’m sure Miss Madison is very pleased with her guy’s work! And hey, soon you won’t be in your “late” 30’s once you hit a new decade! 🙂

  21. Years from now you are going to look back and marvel at all the things you did when you were this age.

  22. If it does I sure in the hell don’t want to here!

  23. I’m learning everyday I’m not a young man anymore Anne!

  24. Solid wall, don’t think you’ll need to worry about any wind knocking it down!

  25. Glad you didn’t blow away in the wind. Hope your back is better today.

  26. Yes, I understand - been there, done that! 🙂

  27. Like I told them, someone needs to answer these people’s question and who better than me? They’re so touchy in the plants department!

  28. Luckily it’s a five minute drive, it’s just the part were you got a nice flow going and then you realize “shit” I’ve got to go back again!

  29. Well done Gary, and only 4 trips to Lowes - I understand! 🙂

  30. The chairs were a kit from Joann Fabrics I got on clearance one year. I put them together and the wood was unfinished, so I spray painted them blue to add some interest on the front porch. Glad you like them!

  31. I wish they would ban me, four freaking trips yesterday. Hell I was exchanging cell phone numbers with the employees!

  32. Thanks! I am not allowed back in Lowe’s so can’t go searching there. Don’t ask…

  33. Legend has it they were taken from a runaway panda at a Chinese zoo, but I can’t confirm that. I will have to check with Miss Madison and get back to you.

  34. First,I am loving those two blue chairs on the Porch! Details, please. Yeah those Sooners got slammed. We just took it in stride. I only cheer for them if they aren’t playing my Noles, but the boyfriend went to bed with a pillow over his head, which is better than when the football team loses and he sticks his head in the oven. (It’s electric) The yard looks great! I want those chairs though!

  35. When you realize that nothing can ruin your plans for a wonderful weekend, not even pipes! I’m glad that you two had lots of fun.


  36. Can you imagine how bad the damage would have been if all the trees were full of leaves yet? Ditto on the pollen ninjas sending allergies into overdrive :(.

  37. Not pretty if you were on the Boomer Sooner wagon.

  38. We stay active on the weekends :). Yeah the pipe bomber set one off in front of a judges house and the parking lot of the police. We strive to be a little more civilized around here :).

  39. This wind! Gah this wind! Now, don’t get me wrong, I like wind as much as any other nature freak, but I had JUST cleared a bunch of limbs from my yard and now I can’t even tell I spent two hours doin that chit!
    Also, this morning, it felt like March Winds to me!!! My eyes were watering and I wished I’d worn a coat!
    It’s blown half the blossoms off the trees and my tulips and daffodils need wind goggles!

  40. Oh man yeah, that Oklahoma game was rough 🙁

  41. You and MIss Madison! My favorite thought. Sounds like a busy weekend, but then, Skipah is a busy guy. Glad the pipe bombs were ‘handled’ by law enforcement. So glad Skipah’s Realm is far more civilized and kind.

Tell Skipah all about it!