Changes in Attitude, changes in lattitude

Thought I would go with some Jimmy Buffet tonight, kind of the way I’m feeling.  Overall pretty good day.  Actually slept again so that was a start, hopefully this four a.m. shit is over.  Jumped in the shower and off and at’em on a power packed day.  First stop tasty 44 ounces of nectar, and that got me thinking.  Why in the world can’t there just be an automated lottery window?  Just stick in on the side somewhere and let some schmuck who has 100 pick three, Powerball, Mega Millions whatever run their own numbers and see if they are a winner instead of one person tying up a whole store and then with the six dollars they may have just won they buy six scratch off tickets like they are looking a mandarin Chinese when picking one of the twenty options of scratch offs.  But I digress, after that I made the decisions I’m done with my old property and I started the process of removing everything I have there on the outside.  Informed the bitch what I was doing got no response didn’t really care at this point and started moving patio furniture, grill, smoker, and turkey fryer over.  This took a matter of a couple of hours, but it’s all at my house now.  To the best of my knowledge I have no reason to ever be at the old property again except to check mail.

Has the day progressed I kept find something else to have to run to the local department store “ugh” I think when this is over I’m going to write a check list down of everything a divorced man needs to get so I don’t have to make umpteen runs to the department store, whether it be a new garbage can, light bulbs, air freshener, just little incidentals that never would have occurred to me when I was living with someone else.  Everything is learning on the fly and it’s getting easier by the day but damn it’s like I get something done with the house and I’m like “shit” I need to go get this or that.  I’m sure I’m not the first guy to go through this and won’t be the last.  The point being “cheating women are evil!”, and for reasons I can’t comprehend yet mine is a frigging nut job.  Got a picture sent to me of her today, her new man wears white wife beater T-shirts.  I have no words to describe how frigging hilarious I found this.  My semi uppity SBE is now shacking up with common white trash.  Good for her, you tried to destroy my life and damn near succeeded, watching yours self-destruct is going to be one big party that the popcorn is all on me for anybody that wants to view it.

After talking all day with a few friends, I decided I was in a position to help out with some of them and went into super-secret “ninja” mode.  I’m learning I’m a pretty good ninja minus the Chinese stars, and pulled of some daring capers that no one will notice until its way too late.  I’ve always been one to give you the shirt off my back if I could and today was no different.  After a few back and forth between various locations in the area I amassed what I wanted and got it all cleaned up and I’m hoping it helps out my friend in the not so distant near future.  It wasn’t something we “brokered” in the split of property so I say “fair game” plus I didn’t have to even try to enter the marital residence to do it.   Anything for friends it my new motto, they got me here as much as anybody and my family.  I’m all about returning favors now when I can and today I got to return one.  My daughter called early today and wanted to know if she could stay with grandma again today, I guess they are having crazy fun it sounds like it.  I didn’t care it’s the first time since May she got to spend weekend with her and that was something she was used to.  I’ve got a big steak dinner planned for her tomorrow and my mother promised to get her to bed early tonight so tomorrow won’t be so rough.  Besides that gave me opportunities to do other stuff that was needed. I’ve not got the front of the house looking like a home that she was/is used to and I can’t wait for her to see it tomorrow.  This is our lion’s den now, and she loves “the lair” that is the front room.  I promised her popcorn and rock the walls out movie tomorrow.

Met with my divorce support group number one member tonight for a swift walk, it felt good to listen to someone else who has been blindsided by all this shit with ungrateful spouses.  Neither of us could control it and really had no way to stop it.  End of the day we both decided neither of us are to blame, we tried everything, and before either of us could realize it we were already old news.  Just felt good to relate with somebody that is going through the same thing.  Look forward to more of these bitch sessions because it was very much like therapy.  Neither of us chose this, both of us had to get our heads wrapped around it and I think both of us are in the process of finally realizing we are the good guys in this bullshit.  Different circumstances for both of us, but at the end of the day we got our heart broke.  Repairing a broken heart doesn’t happen overnight, a week, a month, or who knows.  Having someone to relate to on that was a welcome change for me and I hope for her also.  Being cheated on it something you have no idea how you will respond to in future relationships, when and if I get back into the dating scene I don’t want my crazy ass ex-wife affecting how I feel about any new person but I’ll never be able to answer that until the time comes.  It sucks plain and simple, anybody I may every meet I have to think “what if”, and I only get to blame that one my SBE.  Probably said enough for tonight, but I’ve got changes in attitude going on, and changes in latitude.  FYI I’m huge Buffet fan



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