Cincinnati, Ohio the Queen (Sloane) City

Well the weekend as come and gone and my time with Sloane is over as soon as I drop her off tomorrow morning.  Going to be another week before she gets to star in the Adventures of Skipah coming soon to theater near you.  To cap off one the greatest weeks a father could ever had we went to the Reds game today.  Thanks to my buddy and his super freaking duper work connections (more on that in a sec) we were guests today of CBTS at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati, OH.  On the way out the door Sloane promised Hammy a t-shirt and a Reds hamster home.  Fortunately for him he got neither as the hamster gift shop evidently is closed on Sunday’s at the ballpark.

First order of business was fueling up the car and 44 ounces of sweet nectar for the 90 minute trip up I-71.  It’s a boring trip to say the least as there is absolutely nothing between Louisville and Cincinnati but trees and pavement.  You pass the Kentucky Motor Speedway in the distance but it’s in the middle of nowhere.  You are more apt to uncover a marijuana field than a dentist in these parts, and whatever  you do if happen to need to take one of the handful of exits between Louisville and Cincy proceed with caution.

(That click you heard was me clicking the auto lock on my doors and pushing the button that says “I think John Calipari is god”)

(Always gets me excited to know I’m that close to a Reds game or I’m about to get the hell out of Kentucky!)

The trip was uneventful, I have satellite radio and couldn’t pick up a damn thing but Bluegrass music and some Pentecostal pastor speaking in tongues so Sloane serenaded me the whole trip to various versions of “Let it Go” she found on YouTube.  We arrived with minimal disruptions met up with my friend and his kids (Sloane’s bestie is his eldest daughter) and that was when I was informed that we were going to be sitting in the Pilot’s House for the game.  Shut the hell up!!!!!!  It’s the only part of that ball park I have never been to.  My excitement level went from happy to losing your virginity for the first time!    The Pilot’s House is this super-secret facility above center field.  With a steamboat theme above that for quality outdoor viewing.  If you have ever seen or been to a Reds game the “batter’s eye” they always talk about after another Reds reliever gives up a Ruthian shot to dead center is actually a suite behind the window.  I think when Eric Milton pitched for the Reds they actually billed him for new windows because he gave up so many homers that went…..far.

(I’m watching a frigging game from the Pilot’s House!)

Once I took in the surroundings, I had Sloane kick me in the groin to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, after doubling over and catching my breath I then found out it was FREE FOOD AND DRINK!  You are telling me that I get to eat ballpark food and drink unlimited sodas for free!  I’m usually 30 bucks light by myself on food and drink by the second inning.  It wasn’t the full smorgasbord of ballpark food but it covered all the basics for me except nachos.  The exact spread was hot dogs, Big Red Smokies (seasoned smoke sausages), brats, pulled pork bbq (good not great….free #winning), mac n cheese that Sloane ate her weight in, salad, pasta salad, peanuts, pretzels and chocolate chip cookies.   Throw in all the coke products you wanted and two free drink tickets for the adults. (I gave mine to my generous host he didn’t have to drive home I did)  I think I had four Big Red Smokies, two dogs, a plate of bbq, 72 chocolate chip cookies, and plenty of diet coke.  To feel “healthy” I also ate a salad.  Need to talk the Reds folks about switching to a Pepsi vendor so I can get Diet Dr. Pepper but did I mention this was all FREE!  For the day I spent $16.25 and ten of that was for parking, and I promised Sloane she could have ice cream in a mini helmet that cost $6.25.  I took in enough calories today that hippopotamus at the Cincinnati Zoo were on alert to make room for me tonight.  By the way I have a tummy ache this evening.

(Free ballpark food, pinch me this can’t be real!)

I took Sloane and the kid’s topside to watch a few innings and then we explored the stands a little bit.  This game definitely was more fun than last year, and I’m now going to look into a joint corporate partnership with CBTS and Skipah’s Realm (because I’m bigger than the Beatles you know) so I can enjoy a game in the Pilot’s House again.


(Ice cream and caught an inning in left field bleachers)

As for the game itself the Reds ace Johnny Cueto was brilliant in a 4-0 win.  Jay Bruce was the stud hitting two home runs and driving in all four and it was even Jay Bruce poster day.  Speaking of Jay Bruce I need to get on the horn with his agent.  I’m his personal good luck charm and I should be compensated for it!  I saw him hit his first home run in AAA with the Louisville River Bats, I was at the game in 2010 when he won our first division crown with a walk off homer in 2010 over the Astros, in 2013 on a Sunday night game against the Dodgers and pitching machine Clayton Kershaw on the hill I saw him take him deep twice, and then today he went yard twice.  All I’m asking for is season tickets, and enough coin to get me out of debt.  I show up at GABP Jay Bruce does good.  He was hitting .217 before today, I can get this man in the Hall of Fame if I can attend every game!

The game was over in time for us to get home in time to even mow the grass, and any loyal reader knows that is an accomplishment in itself.  Sloane even chipped in because like she said “I want to help I know you used to keep a nice yard at the old house”, I about melted hearing those words out of her mouth.  Watching her take a leadership role today with one of the younger siblings made me proud as ever.  Going to wrap it up for the evening, got the highly anticipated softball tournament tomorrow and who knows I may just live tweet during it.  To quote Joe Nuxhall “Good night everybody.”

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  6. Wait until you see my next post I researched it a little further. The Reds need to send me a care package PRONTO!

  7. Now that’s what I call an awesome day at the ol ball park! Don’t you just love it when you get the hook up! I’m jealous.
    You might be onto something with Jay Bruce…worth pursuing further 🙂 “I could get him into the hall of fame if I could attend every game” brilliant line.

  8. I died and went to heaven for about two and a half hours!

  9. Free ballpark food? I would be in my glory!!

  10. You wouldn’t recognize from what it was 10-15 years ago.

  11. I haven’t been to Cincy in a long time. I’m overdue!

  12. All you can eat ballpark food does it get any better than that? #winning

  13. Awesome day! Glad you had some exercise (mowing) to balance out all that food.


  14. Topping this past week would be hard to do. Reds game, awesome food, seeing a Triple Crown winner, and fireworks. Next week will be hard to top, but we will give it the old “college” try.

  15. Well, I’m not sorry you have a stomach ache from all that free food, but I am glad to see how much of a blast you and Sloane had. Plus, the Pilot’s Seat is pretty cool, I bet she was feeling really special getting to enjoy something as unique as that. Way to go to you and your friend!

    Sounds like the great time you had planned turned out to be a purely bad ass time you got to share with your daughter. And they won the game too? I mean, what can you do in another week to top this one off? Whatever it is, can’t wait to hear about it man!

    Now go rest up for the week, sounds like you’ve been non-stop!

Tell Skipah all about it!