Daughters Rule the Day!

This is my daily view driving home from the office.

Did everybody see that?  In case you missed it let me remind you…. sunshine at 8:00 p.m.!  Yes, we have made the turn from old man winter and sprung ahead one hour this weekend.  I for one couldn’t be more thankful.  It was getting mighty depressing spending my Sloane weekends driving her home in the dark every single time!  This wasn’t one of our usual power packed weekends that we have become accustomed to, but things like African level monsoons tend to put a damper on outdoor fun.  As usual, though, we made the most of it, and now it’s going to be almost a month before I see her again thanks to Easter not being dad’s year in Indiana in 2016.

I stopped in to inquire about a product review and they informed me I could review it all day long at $4.99 a pound at the local supermarket

Move along, nothing to see here!

Our weekend consisted of me considering writing the Kentucky state government to contemplate passing new legislation on how to obtain a driver’s license after the shenanigans I had to endure Friday night.  Seriously, if you can’t drive in the dark, I’ve got an award winning philosophy for you…DON’T!  Not only are you a danger to yourself, stacking cars up a half mile behind you is only benefiting Geico and Flo at Progressive.  Again, I’m not anti-Kentuckian (as I’ve been rumored to be), but I’m definitely anti-stupidity!

To quote Sloane “Why is everyone an idiot that drives around here?”

Other highlights from the weekend:  Sloane and Miss Madison Jr. were selected out of a pool of two; to become crash test dummies of a former student of Miss Madison’s who is trying to get a foothold in the ultra-competitive industry of cosmetics.  They got their own personal Bippety Bop Boo treatment from a local upcoming cosmetologist Saturday and thought they were hot stuff the rest of the weekend.  Even had the spunky attitude to go with it!

The Diva Duo Deluxe, sorry about the picture quality but Miss Madison is still using inferior Iphone products.  Pipe down Apple lover!

Speaking of trying to break into the cosmetology field:  I don’t know if this applies in every state but in Indiana you have to perform all of this pro bono work to build your portfolio, which I completely understand.  However, you aren’t even allowed to accept tips!  Screw that, if I let you take my face made for radio and you can turn it into the cover of Teen Bop, hey sunshine, here’s an Andrew Jackson (that’s a 20.00 dollar bill Kentuckian), let’s keep it between you and me.  I’m all for integrity, but not allowed to accept tips?  Good Grief, Charlie Brown!

Her ego got bigger than her dad’s for a while this weekend.  

Throw in a trip to the library, a Mario Party Orgy, and some beef adobe for dinner Saturday night and that about sums up our weekend.  They take too long to get here, and then they go so fast!  The underlying theme I have to deal with every time is when can I live with you full time daddy?  Time for a quick rant Skipah style!

A couch made out of duct tape, evidently there is a sect of hippies I haven’t come across yet in Madison.

Did a little shopping for cleats this weekend.  How did dad do?  Phil Knight can I get a shout out!

Daddy got himself a new toy!

Much to the Turtle Man’s chagrin, Sloane took the John Deere for a spin, mental note..need to get Sloane out of Kentucky ASAP!

I’m legally single, and Sloane has a step dad that is involved in her life about as much as I’m involved in the Save the Yellow Spotted Ant campaign.  I would be more active in this, but I’ve got to draw the line somewhere after the Colon Cancer Prevention Project and the Make-A-Wish foundation.  Miss Madison has taken Sloane in from the first time they met!  Sloane is sick of feeling isolated when she isn’t with me and has about a much of a family setting when not with me as an orphaned panda.  She wants to live with me!  She’s eight going on 18 mentally with a mouth that could pass for a 30 year old at times!  The bittersweetness of all this is, she knows what the evil empire has tried to accomplish and only goes along for the ride because she doesn’t have a voice, like she was led to believe.  Ok, rant over, dads in shitty custody situations, stay the course. It will pay off one day!  You are doing it right, and one day you will get your gratification.  I get mine every two weeks!  Don’t worry loyal reader, Skipah is working on a new project on this front, I’ve even got Mossad and the ghost of Johnny Cochran in my corner now.

She makes and amasses posters when not with me because I allow her to hang them at my house.

They still talk about this day like it was yesterday.

The corporate office is a little lonely now, no Sloane, as Miss Madison is on her way to Washington D.C. with a rag tag bunch of pimply tweenagers.  This means I have two days of leaving the toilet seat up until I go rescue her on Wednesday!  The dog and I are currently sitting back and eating delivered pizza in our PJ’s bitching about the NCAA Tournament bracket.  I’m supposed to be packing my own suitcase, but I’ve got 48 hours to do that so what’s the hurry?  Instead I’m going to keep studying the mysterious subways of Washington D.C. and check out what is around the Powhatan Resort in Williamsburg, Virginia.

Miss Madison’s version of packing for a trip.

Skipah’s version of packing.

Grrrr.  Let me sleep I don’t care about your stinking blog!

After Williamsburg, I’m even more excited to spend a couple of days in the Outer Banks with Miss Madison.  That area of the country is my favorite place that I’ve ever visited, and I can’t wait to sink my teeth into an Austin Fish Company crab cake.  It’s been way too long since I’ve gotten to enjoy one.  The only regret I have is no Sloane on this trip to the Outer Banks.  She still remembers her only time there like it was yesterday.  Spending it with Miss Madison though is a close second, and I can’t wait to show her the area.  Two days won’t be enough, but I’ve been there enough to show her a good time.

My little girl is growing up :(.

About it for tonight. I’ve got to figure out how to explain to Miss Madison that Indiana University and the University of Kentucky could potentially play each other next Saturday and I can’t miss it.  Also I’ve got to pack myself for a five-day vacation.  Hammy is still bitching about going to rehab, and I need to finish season one of House of Cards!

P.S.  All my Texas brethren don’t for to enter a chance to win $100.00 Visa gift cards!

I’ll be in Washington later this week lobbying for votes, in the mean time save me the hassle of knocking on your front door by clicking to vote for me!

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  2. No kidding, you are telling me I’m not allowed to accept money in exchange for services so I can join your secret cosmo sect? Whatevs!

  3. I’d be miffed about the tips too and they are gawwwwwjusssss cleats.

  4. I try to make the most of my time when I’m with her :).

  5. You are an awesome daddy!

  6. Trying to bang through House of Cards kind of hit a road block with vacation, but hopefully can pick it back up this week!

  7. The cleats and the cosmetic makeover-I loved that contrast. Oh and the dog. Yeah, daughters rule and you are so lucky! Get that House of Cards season DONE so you can move on to the next!

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  9. Lol @ yellow spotted ants!

    Glad you guys had fun! And that everyone gets on so well!

    That makeup stuff obviously made them divas!! Lol

  10. I completely understand. Cherry blossoms and kisses make a great photo.

  11. They were stoked for sure, I’ll see if I can get you some of those rocks.

  12. I love those rocks. The ones you see on your drive. I love the idea of pro bono cons metrology. Maybe the practitioners can collect donations to save the yellow spotted ants. That said the girls looked lovely and more importantly so happy.

  13. I’ve spent enough money, thanks.

  14. I’ve got a SG5 or an SG6 I’d be happy to make a deal with LOL. Acutally the SG6 goes back to AT & T.

  15. So jealous that you have a working phone!!!!

  16. That makes me smile!

  17. She was running around the store like a wild bull!

  18. Sweet kicks, Sloane!

  19. I’m only there for a day LOL then its off to Williamsburg but I’ll try to do some kind of short snippets. I’m mulling over a whole theme for the week but can’t come up with anything. Also this is pending Miss Madison’s approval I can’t be spending to much time on the computer LOL.

  20. I’m not allowed to say that but I agree completely LOL.

  21. Don’t forget to post while you’re in the Nations Capital.

  22. You need to rescue your daughter before the idiocy catches her mind! She is too smart for that area of the country, she needs mental stimulation of the right (country kind) way! She needs to learn what shit actually tastes like by having a cow slap a manure covered tail in her face. Then when she complains something tastes like shit, she’ll actually know what she is talking about.

Tell Skipah all about it!