Decision 2015: Skipah Style

This is one happy fellow!

If you are resident in the United States today it was your civic duty to go to the polls and vote.  I tried to but since it’s well known of what a dumbass I am, I didn’t get to because I didn’t change my address on my voter registration.  My last known whereabouts I was considered in the county and now I’m a full blown city slicker with a city address on my driver’s license.  So sorry Floyd County and New Albany political hopefuls no votes cast from yours truly.  I was tempted to scream “voter suppression” at the top of my lungs and call and impromptu press conference claiming I was being discriminated against, but that’s so Florida so I just let it go.  I did see a couple of Russians at the polling booth (the ushanka hats gave them away) so maybe Hammy is rigging an election or two.

With nothing major on ballot in my home state let’s break it down Skipah style with the local races and the biggie my local media outlet has worn me out ad nausea with the battle for the next governor of Kentucky.  FYI, I live in Indiana (new readers) but I live right across the Ohio River from Louisville, KY so that is where I get my news and it is also what makes me somewhat of an expert on all things Kentuckian.

The battle for Kentucky is between a career slimy politician (go figure he’s a lawyer) who has gotten his ass kicked for every major office he has ran for except Attorney General.  He’s going against a businessman who sounds about as shady as an elm tree.  Jack Conway who lost to Anne Northup for a Congressional seat, and Rand freaking Paul for a Senate seat.  Against a businessman who has been caught on an open mic supporting cock fighting, yes there are pockets of Kentucky that this is big business, I mean the rooster kind of cocks silly rabbits let’s get our heads out of the gutter!  Besides Kentucky isn’t that progressive, ever heard of Kim Davis?  Yeah when she was pulling her little stunt who showed up in her defense, Republican hopeful Matt Bevin.  So naturally the race is dead heat, your next leader of Kentucky is going to be a career losing politician lawyer or an avid fan of cock fighting.  You think I make this shit up about Kentucky, honestly I don’t!  Skipah’s money is on Conway because I think the state of Kentucky has voted for exactly one Republican since Reconstruction (that’s a long freaking time), and the Ernie Fletcher experience didn’t work out, depending on what side of the fence you lean on.

Nothing state wide in Indiana tonight, but we got ourselves a donnybrook of a mayoral battle here in New Albany!  This isn’t some one stop light town with a post office, general store, and the sheriff knows everybody by name.  As of the last Census New Albany comes in around 36,500 population wise so while not exactly Indianapolis we are a tad bigger than French Lick.  Jeff Gahan the incumbent versus local businessman Kevin Zurschmiede.  I have actually done business with KZ (I’m not typing that mouthful again) through my employer but I don’t know him personally.  It doesn’t matter who wins this race its freaking New Albany.  The ghost of Abe Lincoln could get elected and he would still figure out a way to screw it up!  I’ll give Gahan a slight edge here because downtown New Albany has gotten cleaned up and is actually a desirable place to visit.  That being said, we have park benches overlooking the river that you see nothing but maple trees.  The most underutilized property in the whole city is nothing more than years of half projects and dumb ideas.  With no major Republican battle state wide it’s all up to the locals to get out and vote and that never bodes well for a Republican in southern Indiana.  I knew I should have ran for mayor this year, but all my big money campaign donors pled poverty!

My hometown of Clarksville has town council seats up for grabs (no mayoral race, not incorporated and it gets shot down every time it comes up for a vote), in a sign I’m getting old I’ve got a classmate running for election.  Clarksville is the oldest settlement in the Northwest Territory (I told you so Miss Madison) and their politics are older than that.  For years Clarksville was run by the president of the street department and the police chief and I’m betting they had a dossier of dirt on every elected official in the town that would make J. Edgar Hoover blush.  The former police chief would brazenly in the middle of town gas his boat up at the fuel pumps used for the police force.  That being said Clarksville used to run like a well-oiled machine and I would put their snow removal efforts up against a Buffalo, NY crew.  Those days are all gone now so who cares about the town board elections I don’t live there anymore and I’m barely proud to say I’m from there!  A better election would be who gets to run the meth/heroin co-op in that town now.

The next town over though we have Jeffersonville, Indiana another larger than your average city (46,500 thanks to some crafty annexing), were the incumbent should win easily.  Jeffersonville has actually gotten extremely lucky and bold that they annexed a rural part of the county that has turned into high dollar sub divisions and quite possibly the most expensive real estate in the state of Indiana.  River Ridge Commerce Center is keeping me and many others gainfully employed and that trend isn’t going to stop soon with the east end bridge opening sometime next year.  To the victors go the spoils and a lot of this has happened on Mike Moore’s watch.  Granted most of this was put in motion out of Indianapolis, but the mayor gets to photobomb all those great p.r. gigs.  Jeffersonville is also the landing spot in Indiana of the walking bridge I’ve talked about numerous times on here and it’s slowly building up into a neat place.  Once the downtown phase of the Ohio River Bridges Project is complete I expect to see big things in downtown Jeffersonville.  Jeffersonville is slowly moving from a shithole to a decent place to live.  No take on the Greater Clark School Referendum I see both sides of this argument, but if I owned a boatload of acreage in that county (Clark) I would probably be going batshit crazy also.

About it for tonight, rooting for pot legalization in Ohio just so Nick Lachey can cash a big check!  He was cock fighting in his own special way with Jessica Simpson (when she still had her fastball) and he is a Cincinnati Reds fan.  That Newlyweds money has to be getting near the end of its rope and thank god 98 Degrees isn’t on the radio anymore!  In true Ohio fashion though he could win and the other ballot measure could win so that means…………more lawyers and court!  To quote Don King “Only in America!”