Denim is Cool

I think I’ve got Hammy hooked on basketball!  By the end of the evening last night the little furry bastard was trash talking, bitching about bad calls, and jumping out of his seat anytime somebody made a big shot.  The fifth of Stoli’s probably helped, he tried sweet talking me into letting him sleep out of his cage so he could watch basketball.  I made a deal with him and moved his cage so he could watch basketball while I went to bed.  Tough KGB nut to crack though; he wouldn’t offer me details about fixing the Indiana game yesterday.  True to his ice hockey & gymnastics roots though he kept asking if this or that was “icing” and kept flashing “10” signs anytime an athlete did something good.  As soon as he sleeps this bender off I’ll let him watch some more basketball this evening.  Although he might have to stay on water tonight, well never mind he’s Russian vodka is water to them!

Beautiful day in my little nugget of the world so after work I took a long walk.  Walked to the local park with a one mile walking track.  Four miles later I was back home and laughing my ass off.  Guess who else was at the park today?  My daughter (didn’t see me) and the denim twins.  Mr. Wonderful and his new girl, sitting on a park bench decked out like they just robbed a Levi Strauss warehouse.  I don’t know if they saw me, and I really don’t care, I was within ten feet of them and seeing the parade of denim blue was blinding to my eyes even with sunglasses on.  I’m assuming they saw me because on lap two they were gone, but I was ready to have a conversation with Mr. Wonderful in the most peaceful way possible.

Me:  Quite the catch you go there, by the way you know she is a habitual liar?

Mr. Wonderful:  Dude, I got this after I marry her this will be the fifth time I’ve done this.  I know what I’m doing.

Me:  Oh, FIVE, damn are you rich or something it cost me an arm and a leg to separate from her

Mr. Wonderful:  Gets easier every time, my last ex-wife had to pay me 35,000 just to go away.  It’s a game I play and I’m good at it!

Me:  You know if you are ever involved in my daughter’s life and you upset her I’m going to have some serious issues with you

Mr. Wonderful:  No worries I was hardly involved in my daughter’s life, and I even lied about my income on my son with wife three and got away with it for YEARS.

Me:  Wow, you know dudes like you is why I had to go in the poorhouse just to see my daughter as much as I do?

Mr. Wonderful:  Did I mention I’ve been married FOUR times, it’s all about the ladies pal, let the kids be with their mom and take the minimum custody.  Hell, I’ve given up custody of my grandchildren so I could play.  My last ex pretty much raised one of my grandchildren.

Me:  You’re a douche, by the way wearing denim jackets went out of style in Indiana 20 years ago on 70 degree days, but I see you converted your girl.  You two look and stand out like a steak at a vegan committee meeting.

Mr. Wonderful:  Just keeping it real, I mean this is my fifth rodeo at this crap, I convert women to conform to me and it’s beautiful.

Me:  She is all yours dude, her daughter though is another story.  You two met through being unfaithful I’ll let you two worry about that, hell your ten years older than her and a diabetic how long you think you got?  Your problem not mine, but I’m just telling you that your world will never be the same if my daughter is upset because of you.

Mr. Wonderful:  You’ve seen my track record on raising kids, no worries, she is your daughter and I don’t get to live with her mommy unless I move to Indiana so who knows what the future holds.

Me:  You bet your effing ass she is staying in Indiana!


No piece of shit (step)father will ever have any influence on my daughter’s life, I will go to my grave to prevent this.  She was and has become my world the last eight months and I think I’ve proven she is my number goal in life going forward.  I look out for her as much as I can, and will always continue to!  Now to go check on Hammy and watch some basketball, and buy me a denim jacket.



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  4. Thanks for stopping in, I’ve toed the line in regards to my daughter and her mother and when she gets older she will see everything for herself and I will get my redemption

  5. Divorce is bad, some are worse but there is life afterward. The best thing that came out of my last marriage was my daughter; and now she and her husband have four children but alas, her mother is no longer alive. Her life style caught up with her. My daughter and I are close because I remained consistent for all those years; I never (or rarely) spoke bad to her about her lying cheating mother; and I always treat her (my daughter) with respect. It paid off. Even though we’re a few thousand miles apart, we talk on the phone or skype at least three or four times a week.
    I got my denim jacket in 1991, it still hangs in my closest filled with pins of various momentos — occasionally, it gets worn but only when I’m having memory flashbacks. 😉

  6. Step dads especially this douche is not something I’m fully prepared for yet with my daughter, I’ll take it a day at a time, and might have to get Hammy involved. He’s getting quite fond of the vodka

  7. Love the convo! My boys have a stepdad it’s horrid. I literally bend over backwards for my boys emotionally, physically and financially. What for? Well obviously because I love then and would do literally anything for them. That being said the smug, self knowing, I can ignore your children but at exactly the same time buy an expensive games console because I want you to like me more that your dad bit will also secretly keep you out of the way for longer, look needs to be wiped of his face. I’m with rc maybe rename ‘denim douche’
    Get hammy drunk again, unleash him and his Russian mafia connections onto the world!

  8. I’m not even going to try to go heads up drinking with a Russian, I’m going to need my liver! I would try some Nutzzo but the peanut butter union would disown me, maybe some SoftStarShoes though my walking adventures.

  9. Who knew? It was like seeing a movie extras from Urban Cowboy

  10. Way to stand for what you believe in! NOT wearing denim and your lovely daughter!

    Mr. Wonderful should probably get a new name. Denim Douche seems to flow quite nicely…

    Better watch out, if Hammy is true to his Russian roots, he’ll drink you under the table with his “water”.

    Four miles in great weather and catching the denim duo sounds like a pretty good day, go have yourself some NuttZo! Maybe Hammy would like to try some too!

  11. Didn’t even know they still made denim jackets. I thought you needed a time machine to get one of those!

Tell Skipah all about it!