Dog Eat World

Welcome back to Skipah’s world today, due to Time Warner Cable sucking internet woes the editorial staff at Skipah’s Realm finished up way too late give the masses something to read while lying in bed listening to their significant other moan and groan or what I have always strived to achieve….the place you go on the internet when a good ole #2 is working on you and it’s bathroom time.  Your welcome in advanced please send all donations to “Kisses for Karsyn” as we are down to $30.00 left in order for Sloane to get herself a magic T-shirt.  I’m on the hook for another $2.50 now in the Great American Milk Drive .

You know who probably could kick in thirty bucks to little Mrs. Karsyn and not even have to break a sweat.  Donald Trump that’s who, hopefully he stays in the presidential race.  Sure he’s a dick, but I’ll take some fresh blood from all these other stiffs and retreads.  Give me a businessman any day to run a country/state instead of a career politician.  It works well see Daniels, Mitch 2005-2013 Indiana governor.  He ran Indiana like a business and we are one of the friendliest states in the Midwest to open up shop for business.  Just ask Illinois and Michigan.  That man should have a statute built on the state rotunda.  So hopefully “The Don” stays in it just so he can call “bullshit” on all the other candidates since he has about as much chance of winning as I do of scoring a date with Katy Perry.  Actually I think I have a shot my therapist told me to keep writing those letters to her and sending all kinds of tweets and eventually she will get back to me.  Look at this way it worked for Andy Dufrensque with the Maine Corrections Department and that was well before social media!  There is no dream not worth chasing!

In other news today I’ve got one happy hamster.  Hammy is living it up vacation style right now, I got home today he somehow had some sand delivered today, a chase lounge, and a couple of Tom Clancy novels off of Amazon.  Beach umbrella and little drinks with umbrellas in them, even hung a sign up that said “I’m on island time.”  I think he’s semi-retired these days because not getting any attention right now and living it up like James Bond.

Rosy on the other hand is wishing she was a peasant farmers pet in the dessert right now.  I can’t make this stuff up.

Sloane:  “Dad, will you get Rosy’s cage down so I can have her exercise so she doesn’t get lazy like Hammy”

Dad:  (laughing his ass of mentally) “Sure”

Sloane:  “Yeah she needs to get some physical therapy this week”

Dad:  (trying to think of funny joke for blog post) “No problem sweetie”

Sloane:  “O.K. Rosy time to get trained”

Dad:  (Shit I have got to hurry up and grab my phone!)  “Good luck sweetie”

So Rosy is in the process of getting Americanized herself, I did find some questionable paperwork in her cage today that makes me think she is part of Military Intelligence Directorate so time will tell.  She hales from a country where alcohol is frowned upon, plus she is a female so the whole 70 virgins trick won’t work either.  I’ll have to figure a way to crack this one!  It will be the same way I turned Hammy, on non-Sloane weeks she will spill the beans or she gets more rigorous “training.”


This isn’t Syria Rosy!

As for the blonde bomber, she and I had a pretty excitement free night…as of now.  I got asked earlier if she could come over to visit our old neighbor and when I asked Sloane she was uber excited so I let them have some time together for a little over an hour while I wrote Katy Perry another letter.  They played Chinese checkers and had a grand old time it sounds like.  I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again anyone and everyone that was involved in my daughter’s life pre-split that was a mutual friend the burden is on me to keep that going.  I have to willingly give up my parenting time for Sloane to see people (non ex only friends) that have always been in her life.  Hell even the ex’s friends I would take Sloane around to see I have no axe to grind with them.

That’s O.K. with me though, Sloane’s friends are my friends, and after the news I received today I’m feeling super confident about court on June 25th.  My giving up parenting time so Sloane maintains her normal routine are hopefully over after next week.  The ex can figure out a way to incorporate that shit into her schedule!  About it for tonight, waiting on it to get dark to catch more fireflies, getting reading to stalk tweet Katy Perry, and hit the RNC up for some Donald Trump signs!

Also if I get to 100 dollars in donations for Kisses for Karsyn whoever it is that gets me over the threshold will receive my eternal love (and believe me its well worth it) or I will let you write your own blog post on here.  I don’t care if you are a fellow blogger, Joe blow, or someone I know.  Skipah’s Realm will be your own personal platform to get whatever off your chest!

Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Pingback: The Leprachaun Wedding | Skipah's Realm

  2. Hamster proofing the escape!

  3. Rosy and Hammy… Hysterical! The two most pampered hamsters in history. I really like Sloane’s pillow set up, lol!

  4. Hammy is loving life right now, and you’ve done plenty you donated! As for Rosy that poor thing is marking days off on the calendar until Monday gets here and Sloane is away!

  5. Wow, and thanks AGAIN man! I’m starting to feel like I haven’t done enough now. Time to step it up and spread the word to get you that $30+ in donations and consequently, a shirt for Sloane.

    Love seeing that Rosy is getting “trained” to keep in shape. I picture Hammy sitting there in his cage sipping vodka and cursing the Syrian. Hoping you guys have an exciting day tomorrow!

  6. Your comments need to come with a bookmark! I wuv you still the same though, thanks for all the positive comments!

  7. Hey Gary,

    I thought I already had your eternal love what the… LOL Payday was today so let me look at my finances for the week and I’ll contribute for sure. I’ve been meaning to but totally spaced it with all that’s been going on here in my 3-Ring Circus called life. Heck if our plan to get Donald Trump to send me some money actually works I’ll donate a ton of money to the beautiful Miss Karsyn! btw… Tell her Mom the next time you talk to her that her name is beautiful!

    We definitely need something or someone totally different than any other President this time around to fix all of the crap that this one was screwed up! I have pondered the thought of Trump as our President all day and our country would and could benefit from all of his wisdom in regards to running an organization. The only fear that comes with Trump as President is getting Nuked because he mouthed off to some psycho in a third world country because Donald Trump does not take shit from anyone! Bwahahaha!

    But then again he did say he’d build a huge wall inexpensively AND make Mexico pay for it so I just might be willing to take the chances on the whole getting nuked thing! He is so politically incorrect that this is going to be an Epic Race for the Presidency for sure! Oh and a HILAR one at that! I’m gonna go make a Vote for Trump for President in 2016 button or banner or something for my website now.

    Sounds like Hammy is living the dream these days… How pathetic is my life if I’m envious of a Russian hamster?!?! Don’t answer that it was a rhetorical question. Poor Rosy! Not even a fun work out either as it was Physical Therapy UGH! I have a feeling after a few more Physical Therapy sessions she’ll be singing like a bird and you’ll get all of the details!

    It always makes me smile to hear that you and Sloane had a great time. I must admit I was sad when you went FOREVER recently without seeing her due to the holidays. I remember you mentioning the old neighbor wanting to see Sloane so I’m glad they got a chance to spend some time together. Chinese Checkers is one of my favorite games too!

    I’m super duper excited about your FANTABULOUS news you received today! YAY YOU!!!! oh and Sloane too! hahaha

    Okay I’m done rambling! Nytynite and sweetie dreams!

    Much love,
    Lysa xx

  8. Thank you BritishMumUsa! I’m hopefully going to blow up many “plans” next week!

  9. Gary, I am so glad and just really over the moon with regards to the news that you got today….. Can’t wait for June 25th to come around and for you to be able to take that DEEP BREATH, and be done with all of this….. This is going to be an amazing summer and WaHooo for school and next year to start……

    As the mother of two girls and in an awesome marriage, I can still appreciate that a child needs their father in THEIR life consistently. I would do everything in my power for my girls to have their father in their life ALL OF THE TIME.

    Especially girls, they need a GOOD MALE role model. One that they can emulate when they are older and looking for a partner.

    I again am so excited for you with this BRILLIANT news mate!!



Tell Skipah all about it!