Here Goes Nothing


Date Night!

It was a good run while it lasted, but after getting run over by something equivalent to a pack of starving elephants in Chicago and St. Louis this week, my beloved Cincinnati Reds are fallen back to .500.  When does Indiana University start playing basketball again?

Still in contention for a wild card appearance, also I’m in contention for world’s sexiest blogger.  Neither of these two things are more than likely going to happen.

My love affair of Diet Dr. Pepper took a bit of a hit this week. What is up with this #SweetFund promotion they are running with Walmart, and how could the biggest supporter of the 23 flavors of carbonated ecstasy (diet version) not be contacted for a little “wetting of the beak” promoting this campaign?!  Granted, I’m not exactly chomping at the bit for anything related to the ghost of Sam Walton and his merry gang of discount shoppers.

I’m just going to chalk this one up with the Diet Dr. Pepper lords as a slight oversight and make a mental note to go check out this potential revenue stream I’m missing out on.  Seriously, who better to earn a greenback or two promoting Diet Dr. Pepper than me?  I’ve only waxed poetic on here roughly 2.5 million times about my love of the tasty quaff—and for free nonetheless!

The Skipah daily Twitter update:  No celebrities or pseudo Hollywood types thought to follow me this weekend, but the fine group that runs the Twitter handle Let Me Pee On You followed me today in the hopes I would follow back and purchase their golden shower package they evidently are making a killing on with crafty marketing and the promise of a constant warm flow.  Needless to say I didn’t follow back; I’ll stick to H2O-laden showers.

Freaking Hammy and his kinky trends!  3768 Followers?  WTF, the world is a sick, sick place!

In other news, my co-worker and I have opened up our own little personal restaurant for the lunch crowd in my sector of the world.  Just need some start up cash to bribe the health department representative in my area.  The C & G Quarry Café is going to be a running theme for us all summer.  Two dudes that like to cook and grill—bye-bye McDonalds this summer for lunch and hello to this!

This is how we roll at lunch!

We do take precautions to make sure we don’t disturb the Momma Mallard that is literally within 20 feet of us.

The C in the C & G café evidently likes to dabble in competitive racing via Power Racers with his own little girl.  You know that Barbie battery operated Jeep your little Susy liked to ride so much that you would “secretly” forget to charge the battery?  Well these merry band of marauders “soup” up their kids rides for a chance at fame and fortune at the local Elks lodge meeting over a few beers.  My co-worker’s daughter almost won last Friday night, but dad in this case learned the hard way that running 36 volts of juice to something designed for 12 is a recipe for one of the greatest engineering disasters of the 21st century!


I recently did my first ever guest blogger post that you can read here.  Felt kind of nice to write something without worrying about the Skipah’s Realm legal defense team hitting me with a cattle prod for using a grammatically incorrect comma or something similar.  Actually felt good to channel my inner Elsa and “Let it go.”  Unless you live in Antarctica or you live under your favorite pet rock, please don’t ask me to explain who Elsa is.

The winds of change and good fortune are sweeping the Skipahsphere.  Guess who just landed a paid gig writing short blog posts for a digital media company…. that would be me.  All I have to do is be snarky, witty, and up to date on current trending events.  Talk about putting a ball up on a tee for me!  I’ve got to say, the past seven days have been the most fun I’ve had in my blogging career.  Traffic numbers I never dreamed possible, my #MyBabyTooBill post was picked up by a bunch of parenting groups and sent all over the internet (I wish the Brits could become temporary Hoosiers for a day), and I’m about to do something I never in a million years thought was possible, most certainly didn’t think I was capable of.  Actually I’m not sure if I am or not, but, what the hell, you only live once!

I’ve enlisted the Madison, Indiana Hell’s Angels to promote my cause!

After talking to Miss Madison (who threatened a foot up my ass if I didn’t), my local central intelligence bureau, and my super-duper inner blogging circle, this dumbass is going to attempt to become the next Hoosier best seller, ala Kurt Vonnegut.  I’m excited, scared, nervous, and truly humbled from everyone that has reached out to me and told me I am capable of this.  I’m just a regular guy in southern Indiana that started doing this blogging thing to get my thoughts on paper when I went through my divorce.  Two years ago, if you told me I was contemplating writing a book, I would have told you to seek professional help for your glue-sniffing issues.

About it for tonight, after a weekend prize fight between me and Tommy “the backbreaker” Tiller I’m off to look online at ancient massage techniques or acupuncture procedures.  The Miss Madison produce stand should be open for business in a few short months as a result of this weekend’s fisticuffs!  Now pass me the Bayer!

Look out Heinz, Miss Madison is coming for you!

Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Er… yeah, it was just an, er… honest mistake.

  2. Pingback: My Article Read (4-18-2016) – My Daily Musing | Re-theologizing

  3. Is that your story and your sticking to it?

  4. Thanks Corinne, life is far from boring anymore :). This is a good thing!

  5. Liked your guest post, Gary, although I accidentally clicked on the wrong link the first time and was momentarily confused to find myself looking at Disney princesses. 🙂

  6. No one can ever accuse you of leading a boring online or offline life! Congratulations on getting your writing noticed by more and more people!

  7. Having a desk job has it perks :), I’m still the same old Skipah not letting all this glory go to my head, now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to shop for penthouses and a new Benz!

  8. Look at you - paid digital marketing gigs, international posts, twitter weirdos, impending authordom, cooking your own lunch. If I’m honest, I’m most impressed by the last one - cooking at lunch time is beyond me! Unless toast counts. It doesn’t count, does it?

    In other news, I am really jealous of people who need Elsa explaining to them!

  9. I hope so :), paid is a good thing right?

  10. Congrats on your new gig. Witty, and snarky? I think you’ll do just fine!

  11. Do what!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell the gov’t to put down the wine and give the people what they want!

  12. No doubt about that, thank god the “Cleveland Steamer” crowd hasn’t found me yet!

  13. Sadly no Diet Dr Pepper here in France - or maybe that is a good thing?!

  14. There are definitely folks letting their freak flags fly high on the Twitter. I’m amazed. And scared!

  15. Are you following me on Twitter? Because that would be super awesome…see what I did there 🙂

  16. Can’t wait to find out who else is following you on Twitter. As Carol said….only you!

  17. Twitter is nuts, it’s the wild west of the internet!

  18. Thanks Athena, you do know you and I are forever spiritually associated LOL.

  19. Great guest post, well written. Congratulations on the good stuff that’s happening. Can’t believe about that Pee though. Eww.

  20. Nice! I love the notion of you writing a book! Paid gig, lots of followers, great girlfriend… Did you ever think you’d be here?! Incredible! So happy for you, my friend!

    And damn! if that chicken doesn’t look deeeeelicious!!!

  21. Thanks, plans are changing on a daily basis - will let you know soon. 🙂

  22. Thanks spear, I’m looking forward to your big move in the future :).

  23. Great news about the blogging gig! I am glad things are looking up for you - more good things I hope for you in the future! 🙂

  24. Probably need to make sure the hamster is on vacation before the health inspectors visit your new lunch site!

    Congrats on landing the paid blog position! Your posts tend to be semi informative and funny, too. I know you are cursed to be from down south, but won’t hold that against you!

    Keep fighting for more time with your little girl, she will be full grown long before your book appears!

    It is way too damn HOT here today. 81 degrees Fahrenheit for the high. Have to endure many months before winter returns. Hopefully will avoid having any grand mal seizures until tomorrow when we are supposed to have a high in the 60’s. Should be lower 50’s for this time of year here.

  25. It is, but it isn’t if actual law were ENFORCED. It’s still complete BS though that lets mommy (usually) run amok behind lawyers.

  26. Nice guest post. A friend sent me a link to The Father’s Rights Movement on FB. I thought of you, I’m sure you are already aware of it. I am stunned by the amount of anger directed at someone who just wants to be a Dad! Indiana law must be quite outdated. Good Luck!

  27. She could be a villain, hero, princess, a taxi driver, or valet at a Holiday Inn I don’t have to see her ever again! Thanks for the compliments :).

  28. Julie Jo Severson

    Oh my gosh, you’re a bundle of energy. Must be the Dr. Pepper! I overdosed on that during finals week my junior year in college and haven’t had it since. Congrats on all your writing success! Who is Elsa? JK. Saw it four times. Did you know they were originally planning on Elsa being a villain? I’m so glad that’s now how things turned out.

  29. Yep, Starbucks or Barnes and Noble. I’ll be there with a T-shirt and sign

  30. I’ll see if I can get a D.C. area book signing gig lined up :), thanks double T!

  31. Pork chops today :), thank you everything is coming at me so fast right now I’m still in a “pinch me” kind of mode.

  32. Yeah, that new follow was weird. Who the hell is wanting golden showers? Congrats on the new paid gig and yes you should write a book. You should write a book about all the crap you went through. I would definitely buy and promote.

  33. Congratulations on the paid writing gig!

    And put the chicken on the grill - I’ll be right over.

  34. As a rule me and the McD clown don’t meet up very often….yuck.

  35. I think you read the guest post, pretty sure you commented on it. Are you still living on Vegas time????????

  36. Thanks A! How about I join you for lunch in Florida, sounds much better than Indiana!

  37. Sorry about your Reds, but at least you’re staying away from McD’s now! Now about that Diet Dr. Pepper…….

  38. Ok, Skipah. Only YOU would be followed by the pee on group. ONLY you. What an exciting life you have! Gotta read that guest post.

  39. Well shit that was a fun ride.

  40. Firstly, I would like to join you for lunch from now on, ok?! I’ll just hop on by from Florida 😉
    Secondly, congratulations on all of the wonderful things happening with your writing!!! The simple fact that you mentioned Kurt Vonnegut makes me your newest most loyal fan! Seriously though, take these opportunities and run like the wind with them, I’ve no doubt you will be successful. Best wishes!

Tell Skipah all about it!