I Beat A Kidnapping Charge!

In the spirit of fall, on of my favorite pictures of Sloane!

How’s that for blog post title?  Actually It’s sad and tragic, bruised egos I thought eventually mended I know mine did.  Guess who gets to defend his website again before god and everybody again?  No Kentuckian it’s not Ree Drummond, but I hear she bakes a mean blackberry cobbler so you might check her out.  That would be The Little Blogger That Could, aka yours truly!  “Why Mr. Skipah you have been such a good boy since the last time your website came under siege”, evidently not according to some people.  So to quote Michael Buffer “Let’s get ready to rumble”…..again.  This charade has become pathetic, I’m already broker than a Cleveland Browns fan with a gambling problem.

Since the masses are chomping at the bit these are the reasons I’m in trouble again.  This post, this doozy, and this post so far to date have me in hot water again.  See anything there me neither, also my relationship choices are in question.  I’m lucky enough to have met Miss Madison, in case you didn’t know about Miss Madison she’s a highly decorated teacher in her community.  Eli Lilly grant recipient, awesome mother of two, and for reasons I’m still trying to figure out thinks I’m kind of cool.  Notice I didn’t say divorced four times and hasn’t talked to her adolescent child since January.  So my relationship choices are in question, please.  I’ll take the Pepsi frigging taste test challenge with Miss Madison any day of the week.  Hopefully Miss Madison isn’t too young to not remember those commercials!  Have I made bad choices through all of this sure, I’ve had times in the past year and change were I literally was trying to survive due to the financial chaos and downright rotten luck I’ve endured.  Relationships though is one decision I’ve gotten right so far!

Miss Madison is my “Teenage Dream”, just kidding but she is pretty damn awesome!

What else is Mr. Skipah in trouble for you may ask?  Because custody battles, divorce, and pure bullshit are expensive.  Stupid expensive, like if I knew how much I was going to spend since June of 2014 I would have just relocated to Hawaii and probably live a hell of a lot better than I do now!  Just kidding, but the allure of fresh seafood did just pop in my head!  Hawaii would mean no Sloane or Miss Madison, but you get the point.  I started a Funded Justice  website aptly named #SloaneStaysHome, much to the chagrin of my mom and extended family I’ve done literally zero to promote as I’m a humble man and don’t want the world to fix my problems.  I’ve posted the link on here exactly once!  Crowdfunding your custody battle and using a picture of myself and Sloane is somehow an egregious violation.  I’m desperate, I’m broke, and I’m getting dragged back into the court over bullshit.

Psst…..anybody that fills out legal documents it’s not a GOFUNDME.COM page so try and get something right for once!

Now though Mr. Skipah is going to plead.  Click on the aforementioned link and anything you can spare I will be deeply in your debt.  I’m the kind of guy that would give his shirt of his back if meant helping someone else out.  I’m not in a position to do that right now, literally, everything I have is tied up in saving my daughter from being taken out of this area.  If you got a buck, spare change, confederacy dollars, or a Siberian wooden nickel please pitch in.  That blonde headed girl means more to me than anything in the world, and I’m now powerless to stop it.  Hell for all I know I could end up in jail in a few weeks, you think it sounds preposterous, think again.  I’m literally dealing with a cold hearted, narcissist, robot who only programming function is DESTROY, DESTROY, DESTROY!  Also coming soon, my new password protected page.  Don’t worry loyal readers about 99.5% of you will have all access!

Oh yeah back to me beating a kidnapping charge!  Sloane’s school called ME today to inform me the little bundle of joy was running a fever.  I immediately made arrangements at work and was on my way to rescue her from school.  Along the way I even made a doctor’s appointment, although the earliest they could get her in was tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.  After a nice long drink from my always present Diet Dr. Pepper I made “the call”, unless you are Kentuckian living in China you can probably figure out what that means.  Long story short instead of staying with Sloane for the afternoon at my hacienda I was threatened with a potential kidnapping charge of my OWN daughter if I didn’t take her to a pre-designated place since technically I don’t have custody of her on Monday.  Let me break this down for you Kentuckians.

  1. Sloane’s school called me first to inform me of her illness.
  2. I immediately make arrangements at work and call her doctor.
  3. I make the call informing others that I will care for her until others are available.
  4. I’m threatened with a kidnapping charge if I don’t take her to pre-determined care facility on my non-custodial days since others could be there within four hours. (Four hours is my guidelines for non-custodial care)
  5. This is a true story, I even got to play the phone call for my chess master I met with today. She was rather appalled, bishop takes knight….CHECK, and she even wanted to listen to follow up call…..pawn takes rook……CHECK again.  By the way I love chess!
  6. Have I ever mentioned I’m a James Bond fan and spy enthusiast?

Don’t poke the bear, don’t tread on my happiness, and get a frigging life.  I swear I feel like a Hollywood celebrity shooing away the paparazzi anymore.  To quote Paul McCartney “When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”  Paul fortunately never had a custody battle (he chose unwisely after Linda died, but that his fault), I’m done letting it be.  I don’t care if I can’t raise a single frigging dollar for my legal fund.  I’ll sell blood, plasma, and sperm (although I had a vasectomy so that probably won’t work), arms, legs, functioning organs, and I’ll even make you a hell of deal on my sinuses!  They are Ohio Valley allergy approved so if you take them anywhere they will be like brand new!  This madness has to stop, Sloane is eight going on 30 now, and she wants to stay here!

Love this picture of Sloane!

I need new enlistees into Skipah’s Army, I’ve made friends with various Louisville media contacts but I want to take this national!  Single parents (dads) dealing with utter bullshit reach out to your various news agency via Twitter, Facebook, or carrier pigeon.  The bludgeoning of us post-divorce/separation who get blindsided is a crock of shit!  No fault divorce sounds great in legalese speak, but kids under 12 (Indiana) have no voice unless you are lucky enough to get appointed a Guardian Ad Litem.  Unfortunately they are not free!  Better yet, please tell me why I have to pay for a Guardian Ad Litem?  The burden of proof isn’t on me, I’m not the one choosing to uproot my daughter.  I live in the community she has grown up in.  The other people who want to uproot her that should be on them right?  Am I missing something here?  Bite me haters!  You can stalk me all you want, but you will never deny my daughter her love of her father!  This post will probably get used against me, but really I don’t care.  Throw me in jail for contempt, you willingly have to choose to visit skipahsrealm.com, after today and the literal bullshit I had to endure throw me in jail!  I got threatened to be charged with kidnapping just to care for my daughter who had a fever and her school called me first!

Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. I couldn’t have said it better myself! Family court is nothing but a cash grab and unless mommy is a junkie she gets it much easier!

  2. Wow! I’m truly praying for you. I actually know a lot of men who have gone through horrible custody battles and the number one thing they say is that the courts don’t care about the best interest of the child because the mother is always considered best even when she is mentally unfit. I pray that your child will not be affected by this back and forth.

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  4. Thank you Carolyn for the support :).

  5. This whole thing has been nothing but a charade since day one to demean me and make me out to be unfit. Bitterness is an ugly pill.

  6. This is absolutely getting ridiculous. Hopefully the judge holds her in contempt for wasting his time. Also looks like a big cash grab by what I thought was a respected attorney at a respected local law firm. Guess we see their true colors.

    There is so much irony in going the kidnapping route when our principal made a big stink about picking your kids up when called a few weeks ago. I guess a certain someone can face the repercussions the next time a call comes in.

    If they are going after Miss Madison, the gloves need to to come off. It takes a lot of nerve to go there with the skeletons in Mr. Wonderful’s closet. I guess the gloves can and should come off now.

    Also I am sure @fundedjustice would love to know they are now under attack by a small town family law lawyer in New Albany, Indiana. I am sure the Scott County, Indiana family law judge would love to hear from them.

  7. Wow! This post tears me up! I can feel the passion in your heart for your precious daughter, who by the way is so pretty in those pics! Anyway I am rooting strongly for you! I have seen my dear friend go through a similar case, except it was the Ex-Dad that was the narcissist . It was HORRIBLE and I pray that the storm can settle for you and dear Sloane and that you all can just live the peaceful life you deserve and that Sloane can enjoy being a carefree child which she deserves!!

  8. Gary, Miss Madison is lucky to have you, you to have her. ♡ I loved the photo of Sloane. She is beautiful and inside a sweet girl, too. What blessings you have in your life. 🙂

Tell Skipah all about it!