Sometime in the wee hours of the morning in a Syrian Desert community outside of Damascus in 1995 a young hamster was born to a nomadic goat herder and a stay at home mother who was caring for the other dozens of little Syrian rodents she had just birthed. One of them would eventually make it out of Syria alive and show up on the doorstep of yours truly. At first I thought she was a Syrian intelligence agent or a member of ISIS, but it turned out she was nothing more than a harmless Syrian hamster that Sloane immediately fell in love with and named her Rosy. Sloane did put her through some torturous drills to make sure she wasn’t a double agent but at the end of the day all Rosy did was sleep. She slept like a teenage boy after a binge evening of playing video games. She ate very little and drank plenty of water, however the tragedy going on in her country was too much to bear on her conscious and Rosy passed away on Thursday, September 25th.
Hammy lowered his little Russian flag to half-staff for the day, and I put Rosy in cryogenics until I could tell Sloane what happened (that’s freeze her Kentuckian) on Friday. Sloane was shaken and upset at first, and I explained to her that it’s only a hamster not a family member or an actual human that passed away. Tomorrow we are taking her somewhere to give her a proper burial (dumpster wasn’t an option I brought up) and eulogize her the best way I can a hamster.
As for the other rodent in the house, self-proclaimed KGB superstar Hammy he’s flowing in the vodka today and counting his money. Apparently he took heavy action on Wake Forest today covering the +3.5 against the mighty Indiana Hoosiers in college football and the now 4-0 Hoosiers covered the spread and won by seven! Number one ranked Ohio State is rolling into Bloomington next week and not since Penn State in 1994 has Indiana football had a game this big. Of course in 1994 we scored two late touchdowns to make the score close and it ended up costing Penn State a national title at the end of the year but that’s a Pennsylvania problem not mine! I’m feeling a road trip with Miss Madison next weekend! She’s an actual alum from there, I’m just another washed out student. Guess it is going to depend on what time kick off is because she is coming to town and we are having my mom over for dinner.
With September ending and October right around the corner Mr. Skipah is about to become one busy man! Let’s break this down somewhat shall we.
September 29th
I complete my chess tutorial I haven’t spoken about and begin the process of “checkmate.”
October 5th-October 11th
Miss Madison and our offspring our off to Door County, Wisconsin for a week of leaf peeping, lighthouse climbing (at least I am), and just enjoying somewhere in this country other than southern Indiana. Sloane and Miss Madison’s daughter are jacked up like a couple of kids hopped up on an endless supply of Big Red. I’m looking forward to fishing in Lake Michigan and eating some local trout and walleye. Miss Madison has activities planned for the girls that I haven’t told Sloane about yet, but they will be entering in a LittleMissMatched.com contest very soon unbeknownst to them. Thinking about live Tweeting or posting on Instagram just exactly how boring Indiana it is to drive through on the way up there so stay tuned.
October 13th
I have pulled off my biggest blogging coup ever! I can’t go into details right now as I’ve been sworn to secrecy until that week, but trust me it’s going to be awesome! Biggest challenge I’ve ever faced as a blogger and working with other brands, but I can’t wait! Miss Madison is involved also and I will need her humble opinion on it so that should help. I’m still giddy after getting the news on Friday!
No our evening will not involve the most interesting man in the world.
October 17th
Brownie walk with Sloane……maybe! I could use my rights as the non-custodial parent that weekend in an odd year but a “partial” compromise has been reached for Spring Break in 2016 so let’s just play this one by ear. Although Sloane is looking forward to it after learning about it yesterday and not from me!
October 30th
This day is kind of a bitch now! I mentioned the Halloween costume party with my school peeps the other day, but I have a surprise 50th birthday party that day at six p.m. that there is no way in hell I would miss…decisions, decisions! I think Miss Madison and I will pull both of them off, but we might be a tad overdressed for the birthday party. Skipah is still accepting costume ideas for a history major and a smartass!
October 31st
That would be Halloween, I get Sloane at least from 6:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. that night for trick or treating. Have a pretty good feeling I’ll keep her all night, but if I don’t it’s no big deal that would be two years in a row I took her trick or treating. I got to last year because she chose me and I lived in a neighborhood not in an area that is non conducive to trick or treating, I still live in the same neighborhood only in a different part now and per Indiana custody rules it’s my year!
Needless to say the next few weeks are BUSY! About it for tonight need to figure out where to bury Rosy tomorrow, finish up this cake I’m making for the spy party tomorrow, and start talking smack to Ohio State fans!
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Really? Too short? That’s a new one on me, just when I thought I got all of this finally fixed!
Not sure what happened to her I got home from work and she was stiff as a board. I’ll message you the blogging coup I scored it’s not to far off from your lawn mower heist!
RIP Rosy.
That was my first try at leaving a comment. I was informed it was too short. Hope this makes the grade.
Busy times indeed! Should make for great stories on the blog! Can’t wait to hear how your chess game goes. 🙂
So sorry about Rosy, I think hammy likes being the only rodent in the house
We would probably argue who would have to be the south! That’s too funny with your sister and blasting Elton John!
My heart holds a special place for Miss. Sloane and her beloved Rosy. In my very backyard, in 1974, my little sister laid the remains of my silver teddy-bear hammy, Ishkabibble. Of course she set the record player up in the bedroom window and blasted Elton John’s Funeral for a Friend so the entire neighborhood could rock their mourning… He was cool. Your costume? Why not simply be the North and the South?