Party Planning!

After crunching the numbers this morning like a junior level account manager at KPMG I think the birthday budget for Sloane is going to include a trip to Holiday World.  So this here will be an open invitation to all to come join Sloane and me for some Holiday World fun this Saturday in Santa Claus, Indiana.  You can even have your kiddo write an early bird Christmas list and the fine folks at the post office will officially postmark it from Santa Claus, Indiana.  It’s been going on for years, coincidentally enough Holiday World used to be called Santa Claus Land.  The more the merrier because Skipah will give you a little secret….I hate water parks!

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on where you lean on the water park debate, Holiday World has one of the largest in the country with Splashin’ Safari.  Sure I like some refreshing cold water on a scorching hot day as much as anyone, however, I hate waiting in a line for an hour and change just to go down a gigantic slide on a raft.  It’s Sloane’s world though and I just live in it, so I’ll dad up if I have to, and tomorrow I’ll start a “local” drive to see how many of her friends can attend on short notice.  Thankfully all of her friends parents know what kind of bullshit I’ve dealt with for the past year and then some so I am sure they full understand I couldn’t plan a mariachi band catered with all you can eat ice cream from Baskin Robbins.

Here is unofficial review of Holiday World from Mr. Skipah:

They have three wooden rollercoasters that have a mountain of trophies in Rollercoaster Digest or whatever publication ranks them.  Sloane comes in at 49 inches these days (the magic threshold is 48) so hopefully the first one doesn’t scare the bejesus out of her because she has wanted to ride one all summer!  There newest coaster is a suspended inverted coaster called the Thunderbird.  You have to be 52 inches to ride that one so unless I dress her in four inch heels and have a podiatrist on standby she won’t get to enjoy that one.  I may have to chain her to a tree if no one else goes so I can ride it myself.  That was joke I wouldn’t chain my child to a tree, don’t rule out super glue though.

The Voyage, The Raven, and The Legend all come with a discount to the local back specialist!  The fun is worth it, though!


Yes, will see you Saturday!

I actually entered a contest to “review” Thunderbird on a blog post but I didn’t get picked.  No hard feelings Koch family.  Oh yeah, the owner of the park greets everyone when it opens.  It’s privately owned…..take that Six Flags!

Another perk is free sunscreen, now usually by this time of year Sloane is sporting a tan that would make a Brazilian beach volleyball player envious, but this past summer she spent a ton more “indoor” time than summers past.  So I will be taking full advantage of this perk.  As for me I’ve walked so much in this heat and sun I’ve got a farmers tan that would make a tractor operator in Nebraska jealous.  I’m a lock for the National Farmers Tan Hall of Fame ceremonies this fall.  Here I come Davenport, Iowa!

As previously mentioned Splashin’ Safari is the Disney World of water parks.  Not my cup of tea, but, like I said the lines are just too damn long.  If the lines were shorter I would ride down each one of them with or without the park issued raft or inner tube.  When I was married I looked forward to water park time.  It afforded me the opportunity to bang out roller coasters like a degenerate gambler with a no limit credit card.

It’s impressive just not my cup of tea.

Last but not least, FREE DRINKS!  Water, Gatorade, or any other Pepsi product.  Unfortunately, Diet Dr. Pepper is owned by the Snapple brand……..oh wait PepsiCo distributes Snapple products!  Winner, winner chicken dinner.  Yes, that is right, free beverages all day including (for me) the liquid nectar of Diet Dr. Pepper!  They have the little drink “oasises” all over the park and I’m hoping they haven’t changed up anything because believe me, I know which ones serve Diet Dr. Pepper!  I’d be remiss also if I didn’t mention the free parking!

About the only con to Holiday World is its summer time in Indiana.  Which means the 90s and humidity that only a Floridian can appreciate.  Also in those parts of Indiana, there isn’t anything to do but countdown the days until the fall harvest, so weekends are usually packed.  Crowds don’t bother me (water park not withstanding) and any amusement park is going to be crowded on the weekend it’s just something you have to deal with.

Tuesday will be a great day!  I know all you nosy asses want to hear the latest with Miss Madison and me!  Tomorrow I have been invited to her neck of the woods to do some Reebok Spartan Race level training on a course she is fond of.  As an added bonus she is making dinner!  I requested Russian caviar and imported Alaskan snow crab, Hammy informed me I wasn’t asking for enough and should request some escargot also.  Snails and fish eggs have never sounded that good to me so whatever she surprises me with I’m sure will be wonderful.  I’m more intrigued about this walking/hiking trail.  Her part of the world has some hilly terrain, so I might be hooked up to an oxygen tent by this time tomorrow.

About it for tonight, since I’m a glutton for punishment I’m going to watch this Reds game that is about to begin.  Starting my impromptu Sloane birthday party invitations on Facebook, and going to keep on smiling.  Life is good these days, I just wish I could rescue my daughter sooner rather than later.

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  3. Just praying she handles that first roller coaster like her dad! I’m home free after that!

  4. Great post and generous invitation! Fave line: dad up 🙂 . Wish I could come but you all have a blast. I, too, am not the biggest fan of water parks, but our gang has found a nice compromise. The one we go to has a lazy river with my name written all over it 😀 Enjoy.

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  6. Anytime pal, it’s only about an hour away from here.

  7. The Kentucky State Fair is coming up (much closer to me than Indy) maybe I’ll take Sloane over there one evening and give everybody the FULL KENTUCKY EFFECT!

  8. I will call my state agency to get the process started.

  9. Excellent review and now I’m ready to make a trip up there! Ready to go again?

  10. I love Dr Pepper, too!
    I think we’re going to the Indiana state fair when the kids get home from school — I don’t want to do it on a weekend!

  11. Can you adopt me please because I’m jealous as hell.

Tell Skipah all about it!