Quoth the Raven nevermore!

To quote Julius Caesar, we came, we saw, and we conquered!  That was Sloane and I at Holiday World this past Saturday.  I had a eerie feeling on such short notice we couldn’t round up any of her school cronies to take the trip up Interstate 64 to the amusement park, and when I informed her of this bad news on Friday evening, without a beat she said “Why can’t we invite Miss Madison?”  I quadrupled checked with Sloane if she was O.K. with this because this was going to be “our” day at the park and I didn’t want her to feel slighted in the least bit if Miss Madison tagged along.  In true Sloane fashion “If she’s your girlfriend I want to meet her”, with that being settled Miss Madison was more than happy to accompany us on the trip.

Bite me world!  Daddy and I are here to kick some ass!

Miss Madison and Sloane hit it off immediately, and the one hour drive was very pleasant and not the least bit awkward.  I really think Sloane could fit in at a TV repairmen union meeting if she strikes a common chord with someone.  Once we arrived at the park, Mr. Skipah had packed some fruit and lunch meat for a quick snack before we braved the Indiana summer of mid 90s and atrocious humidity.  First stop was the HallowSwings.  Sloane has been wanting to ride these over grown swings since she laid eyes on them three years ago.  Well hello 49 inches, get out of my life 48 inches!

Yes!  Finally! 

Once that mission was completed she begged to ride it again but I did inform her it’s early we will come back.  It was off for the much anticipated maiden voyage of her riding a real roller coaster and not one of those kiddie 25 mph paint your toe nails, catch up on your email, Snap Chat your friends kind of coasters.  Sloane’s first roller coaster experience was The Raven.  When it was built 20 some years ago it won all kinds of accolades as best wooden roller coaster on the planet.  It remained in the top ten for years after its initial debut in Roller Coaster weekly or whatever ranks them.  FYI, roller coaster wars are akin to a nuclear arms race!  Currently out of the four at Holiday World it’s safe to say it’s the tamest, but perfect for Sloane to get a taste of roller coaster life.  Other than cutting off all known circulation to my left arm, she loved it.  Little shook up at first from the adrenaline rush, but overall liked the experience.

This would be the last ride we would ride as a tandem, I’m not nearly as cool as Miss Madison!

Not sure what was next but we did end up in the “Thanksgiving” section of Holiday World.  This is home to one of the current biggest and baddest wooden coaster on the planet “The Voyage”, Sloane was having none of that today but she and Miss Madison decided to ride the mechanical bench swing so dad could go ride the latest and greatest Thunderbird exhibit.  Zero to sixty in 3.5 seconds, it literally pinned you in your seat on takeoff!  Five stars all around from Mr. Skipah and kudos to Holiday World for nailing their first steel coaster.  After getting off the ride I received a text from Miss Madison that Sloane had informed her that she did indeed pass the Sloane test.  I may have given her the answers beforehand or the fact she rode that boring ass swing four times with her while I was getting my thrill seeking on could have been the reason she aced it.  Either way I was a happy camper!

Dad are you Cray Cray?

These two are getting along nicely!

After that is was the dreaded water park (Splashin’ Safari) leg of Holiday World, I did get to see Miss Madison in a bathing suit though #winning, she got to see me blind astronauts on the International Space Station.  It’s well documented about my first ballot nomination in the National Farmer’s Tan Hall of Fame in Davenport, Iowa.  That involves a shirt leaving my 24 inch guns (or paltry arms you be the judge) basking in the Indiana sun.  The rest of my upper torso is usually covered, so of course in all my stubbornness I feigned off any attempt to use the free sun screen offered at the park.  In an unrelated note I wasn’t worth a shit Sunday due to sun fatigue.  The water park wasn’t nearly as bad as before thanks to some Jedi like mind trick of yours truly informing her that the slides in the back of the park weren’t nearly as crowded.  By this time though I’m relegated to third wheel as Sloane is only going down slides with Miss Madison, dad got to ride solo down all the slides.  My feelings weren’t hurt in the least, watching her have a blast made it all worth it.

She wanted to stand in line for one of the BIG slides that was going to take 90 minutes I reluctantly agreed, and then the man upstairs felt my frustration and sent a severe thunderstorm watch our way so they had to close the water park.  Once we were dried off and dressed it was one more round on the HallowSwings and one more trip on the Raven.  Miss Madison was the chosen passenger this time so I got to sit behind Sloane and scratch her head the whole time.  She was wanting to turn her head to gripe at me but scared to because of the speeds it was priceless.  I got my butt ripped once the ride ended but who doesn’t like getting a tongue lashing from a seven year old who thinks she knows more than me!  That’s my girl!

It’s not near as scary the second time right?

About it for tonight, plenty to blog about from this past Sunday, today, and guess what Sloane turns eight tomorrow!  Unless it gets silly at work tomorrow you can bet your ass she’s getting a birthday lunch drop in from dad.  She wouldn’t expect anything less nor should she!

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  5. #winning - lol you are hilarious. I am glad that they were able to meet and hit it off. Passing the test is no easy thing to do I’m sure lol. Were you nervous when introducing them?

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  7. No problem thank you also.

  8. Mathew Silverman

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  9. I think Sloane is going to be a coaster nut as she gets older, she didn’t want any part of the “big” one though. Those swings she has wanted to ride ever since she laid eyes on them, at least this year she was old enough to not want to ride the “original” Santa Claus Land rides in the Christmas section. Sitting through that part of the park on a good Indiana summer day was pure torture in years past!

  10. Ah, Holiday World. I had a bad experience there at Sloane’s age, and have never gone back. It’s not the fault of Holiday World, but rather, my evil aunt, and I really should check it out again.
    I usta love coasters! I don’t now, because I do not need the extra adrenaline!
    My kids do not love coasters. 🙁 Sassy rode the one at the zoo and wasn’t too sure about it, so she won’t go on anything bigger. Moo loves those open swings, too 🙂
    Glad the three of you had a great time!

  11. They weren’t too bad, I’m not the hugest fan of them myself. Yeah just wait a couple of more years and you and Avery can go all out at an amusement park!

  12. You just made me super pumped to go to an amusement park in a few years! Great recollection of an obviously awesome day did you, Sloane and Miss Madison!

    By the way, I hate those swings!

  13. To quite Dory, just keep swimming, just keep swimming!

  14. Glad to hear she had such a great time and that she and Miss Madison got along swimmingly! (see what I did there?)

Tell Skipah all about it!