Risa K. Woods-Amateur Blog Stalker

Apologize in advance on the photography, taking pictures directly off the laptop doesn’t work to well.

By the way that’s wife number five just to clear things up.  Also I was never told by a judge to shut this blog down, either she is mis-informed or an idiot.  Loving step-dads at least speak to there own biological children more often than January 2015.  Despicable liar is a rather strong word, coming from someone who I think this has more skeletons in the closet than Arlington cemetary.  If lowering standards is really chafing her then all I can say is wow, message me if you want details I’m not lowering my standards for a tax cheat and many other shenanigans of “abusing” the system.  Also I will stand behind anything I’ve ever said on this blog, prove me wrong when it comes to my daughter.  You can’t!  Also I was worth ENOUGH of her time that she was on my blog today at least twice that I know of.

First though I need to determine if this is who I think it is.


Image courtesy of https://plus.google.com/108644468448780931992/posts

There is no frigging way there are two Risa K. Woods in this world.  The one I know lives in south Florida.  We better get to investigating this stuff because I don’t want all the denizens of Skipah’s virtual island to be subjected to this hate mongering and spewing.  I got Hammy off of the vodka long enough to help me out as I figured his KGB training was more than sufficient along with my Google ninja skills we make sure this wasn’t a case of mistaken identity.

“A real mission, research, recon, and digital espionage, I can’t drink vodka though?  Screw it let’s get to work put on a pot of coffee and let’s go!”

First off I thought I had better check where in the world all my loyal readers had been chiming in from.  Then I noticed an IP address from Vero Beach, Florida.  Hmmm that’s not very far from the last known whereabouts of the ex sister-in-law.  Spent quite a long time on there also, odd, I thought.  Hammy is chirping it’s her, it’s her!  I knew you couldn’t trust her!  Hold on Hammy let’s make double sure and check the time stamps.  I know she is certifiably crazy with papers and such, but lets double check everything and make sure there isn’t two people in Vero Beach, Florida vincinity that are “Cray Cray” (that’s what the cool kids say now), after all Hammy it is Florida and you never know what in the hell you are going to come across.  Alligators sleep with catfish in those parts it is the nuttzo capital of the U.S.

Wow 46 minutes on my site, my advertisers are going to frigging love that kind of engagement!  Ten pages in one session, my stats yesterday went bananas!  With that kind of engagement I might be get to a review of a Dodge Ram or a vacation package.  This reader is awesome!  Oh wait it’s really starting to look like this is my former sister-in-law.  Let me check the Google Analytics time stamp just to make sure I don’t have a new number one fan!

Well poop it is my former sister-in-law, plus she must really miss me as she was on my site today twice.  Sometime after nine a.m. and noon.  Let me hone in on that a little bit.

Completely matches from last night!  Get a life girl, is your marriage still as miserable as I remember you complaining about it all the time?  Just for shits and giggles I ran a few more tests.

Holy smokes my SEO must be working I must know what I’m doing.  She found my site via organic search!  Cue to Hammy and I high fiving, I’ve let him go back to vodka instead of coffee now, he was getting cranky, damn Russians!

That must be a Android Tablet with a 10.1 inch screen and a monitor around 14 inches standard laptop size.

Well, like I used to tell her all the time, “I told you I was right!”

Never heard of that ISP (Internet service provider Kentuckian), but I don’t live in Florida so I’m guessing something out of Miami, or an abbreviation for Mia Hamm Adidas Loves College Basketball, either way their both Greek to me.

Only one way to solve this problem as I don’t want my readers to have to put up with such shenanigans.  Time to swat this piss ant away.  I get asked from other bloggers who aren’t self hosted what are the advantages to self hosting.  There are a few, one is I have access to the full scope of Google Analytics.  Google is pure frigging evil, and a data mining machine as I just demonstrated.  You know what else is great about owning your own site, the plethora of WordPress plug-ins.  Lionscripts is an especially good one for peasants like this one in Vero Beach, Florida idiot who has been miserable in life for way to long.  You know you can do with Lionscripts?

To quote David Spade from an early 1990s Saturday Night Live skit “Bye Bye”, so yes Risa K. Woods was in fact my former sister-in-law and not an impostor, her IP address joined the former wife’s IP address on the ban list.  You log into a site I own I can publish your IP.  Fear not loyal reader all of you I have no idea where you come from or even care, these two particular IP addresses though I take great pleasure in blocking.  If you leave me a dumbass comment or use my blog against me in court though you get the full Liam Neasson from me and my “Special set of skills.”  To quote Michael Corleone “Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer”, since that is a top five movie of all time in the Skipah’s Realm theater you are damn skippy (non pun intended) I’m following that advice!







Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Nary a word since then and top spot on Google search rankings. I smile everytime I check.

  2. You did right bud. Well done. 🙂

  3. Ex sister in law, she got the full beatdown!

  4. And I thought I had stalkers… lol. Stay strong man! Blast away!

  5. Pingback: The Wedding Planner

  6. Pingback: The (Un) Intelligent Woman

  7. Pingback: Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm

  8. Crazy checked out years ago with her!

  9. That is pretty impressive detective skills, although wow, she isn’t just crazy she is nasty crazy

  10. Pingback: Run Rabbit Run!

  11. That was last summer, that woman is beyond crazy! Also a Floridian I’m sensing a pattern here!

  12. *dropsmic*


    Dayummmmmmmmmm!!!! 😳

    This is nuts!

  13. Pingback: Skipah’s Center for Disease Control

  14. Pingback: Mr. Lincoln is Bridging the Gap |

  15. Pingback: Bend Over! |

  16. Pingback: My Favorite Stalker! |

  17. Pingback: The Super Mario Mission |

  18. She’s a moron who hates life.

  19. Mercy. I get some cray-cray in my comments and now and again I even get mean and sexual, but I’m grateful no one has gotten personal and spiteful.

  20. Pingback: The Hatchback Mafia |

  21. Pingback: Still Studying! |

  22. Pingback: You’re a tremendous slouch! |

  23. Pingback: Get Busy Living, or get busy dying! |

  24. Pingback: You have to be human first. They don’t qualify! |

  25. Taking photos of your laptop.
    Set up the page on the screen.
    Press Print/Scan on your keyboard (or Google “keys for print/scan” for older laptop)
    Open Paint
    Save as PNG (which is high resolution)
    Image should be in Downloads.

    Hope that helps


  26. Pingback: Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. |

  27. Pingback: I have had some long nights in stir. Alone in the dark with nothing but your thoughts, time can draw out like a blade… |

  28. I wish I had an answer for you, I just try and protect my daughter now. I was a good husband with flaws, but she had her own flaws also. It has become painfully clear in the past year and change she set me up for epic fail and I’m still fighting that battle uphill now because I didn’t know any better at the time. I was trying to save my marriage!

  29. I’m just going to point out that it doesn’t say very much for this woman, Cinna, who seems to be acting out of desperation to marry a man like this. Is it for revenge? Has she been blinded by lust? Is she just trying to find someone else to support her? Does she suffer from low self-esteem?

    Whatever the reason, it’s been proven time and time again that past is prologue. This man is bad news, and if she doesn’t see it, then she’s just ignoring it on purpose.

  30. I know Mr Wonderful about as well as any one, I was wife number 4, he cares about himself and money, money that he gets from divorcing, I have him a pretty penny just to be shed of him and his family, then he refuses to give me all of my property and even sold so of my things. There is a $2000 bedroom suite that I loaned his daughter money to buy out of money I had before I met him, she has never paid me back. This is the same bedroom suite that he and Cinna has been sleeping on in his mothers house, the same bedroom suite that they plan on taking to their house. Low life doesnt even start to desripe him and his family and as far as children goes he hasnt raised either of his children, he hasnt talked to his 13 yr old since Jan when he told him that he was signing his rights over so that he didnt have to pay childsupport and yes he lied on his income to pay less. I raised his grandchild for the first 5 yrs of his life as of today he has nothing to do with this any of his grandchildren and will not help their single mother of 24 that has three children under the age of six all with different fathers. Any one want to know about please feel free to call me. If Cinna think that he will stick with her she is crazy which most of us already knows, the less time Slone spends around him the better. His average time to stay married is about six years, look it up, its public record.

  31. Self hosting it’s free with a Google account, I’m not sure about free sites I think there may be a plug in but not sure. Self hosting is yearly fee.

  32. Free, really? Even if you don’t self-host your own blog? And when you say self-host, I’m assuming you have to pay a monthly fee?

  33. Pingback: The Twas the Night before…… |

  34. She exposed her self, fair game, I looked in to it! As far as google analytics it’s free email me at [email protected] and I’ll walk you through it.

  35. How did you get Google Analytics for your blog?! I need them myself…

    And don’t you just love when people try to intimidate you? *shakes head* Be careful! I know it’s easy to post things when you’re upset but posting names could get you in trouble for slander on a public forum. I’ve been dodging my blog stalkers legal team for years. lol. It’s better to leave them anonymous, even when they do something foolish and expose themselves. Just my two cents! 🙂

  36. She even tried today to view from another IP address. Name calling I kept to a minimum but you are right. As for #5 have no answers.

  37. “You are not worth my words or time.” The evidence suggests otherwise. Scoff at being scoffed at, dude!

    Does everyone in Florida look like they live in a tanning booth? Ms. Woods looks like the Tanning Mom. (I think they’re called tanorexics.) But you know, you don’t have to stoop to her level and use name-calling. You’re better than that.

    Wow, wife number 5. That’s just… incredibly sad. Perhaps the man is addicted to marriage (and divorce).

  38. Sometimes a blog post jsut writes itself! I know it wasn’t the “proper” use of Nuttzo, but as always it my pleasure! Hope you Going-Mom kick some butt tomorrow at the 5k.

  39. Kudos to your super spy skills, and Hammy too! Very cray-cray indeed. Thanks for plug by the way!

  40. She was never the brightest bulb in the closet

  41. All this craziness will catch up to those sisters. I pray that one day they see how evil has crept into their hearts, but especially your ex. Her sister is obviously reacting to lies she’s heard. Karma always catches up!

  42. I am doing the best I can! Thanks Mary look forward to more of your awesome photography!

  43. There are no words for this insanity that stalks you. Hang in there and stay strong.

Tell Skipah all about it!