Santa Went Digital!

After receiving an email from the public relations department of Skipah’s Realm I have been advised to inform the loyal denizens on my little sector of the Internet about an exciting new offer.  I write on here how much I dislike The Pumpkin Union and Tom Turkey and his rebellious gang of feathered vigilantes getting the shaft when it comes to holiday celebrations in favor of that fat guy up north with a big white beard.  No Kentuckian that’s not your wild uncle Bobby Jack I’m talking about, I’m talking about Christmas of course.

However, the good people at wanted me to inform everybody about the service they are offering for your little Susy, Timmy and any other crumb snatchers you may be fond off.  For 9.95 you can have a direct text sent daily starting on December 1st addressed to your kiddo(s) reminding them of the big day.  Also for that price if you send in a digital picture of your Christmas tree, fireplace, doghouse, or mommy’s secret wine stash your child can get a Santa selfie sent to them on Christmas morning.  The elves they employ will perform some digital editing voodoo although I can’t promise you Santa won’t be hitting the wine should you choose to go that route.

I’m a parent and my kid turns into some deranged mutant zombie approximately 35 seconds after Thanksgiving is finished.  The number of times I’ve threatened to call, text, or email Santa has to be in the thousands to get the “proper” behavior out of Sloane.  Problem solved!  It’s your phone mom or dad, if your child is misbehaving, magically no texts appear from Santa that day.  Won’t brush their teeth…BOOM…..looks like Santa didn’t text you today, I heard a rumor he doesn’t visit kids with bad breath.  Bedroom looks like a teddy bear guerrilla commando force stormed it……BOOM…..sorry little Johnny, Santa didn’t text today maybe if you clean your room up I’ll remind him what a good boy you have been.  I know my precious little girl can’t be the only one that turns into a raving lunatic that time of the year, so give a look and thank me later.

Full disclosure Mr. Skipah receives a commission on any sale, however the service is 9.95, and I don’t exactly think I’m going to be travelling abroad at that price! recently started a kickstarter campaign to grow their business and Mr. Skipah is wishing them the best of luck!



  1. Probably having two Christmas’s a year?

  2. I agree with you completely on that!

  3. What will they think of next?

  4. I love Santa and I love Christmas but we can celebrate Thanksgiving and everything else before first? :( :) hehe

  5. Pingback: It’s an Inside Joke |

  6. This is getting F****** ridiculous! What happened to the song “You better not pout, you better not cry…”?

Tell Skipah all about it!