School is in session, and who knew Walmart had an indoor track!

Oil frigging pastels, what happened to just water paint and markers?  Spent two lifetimes today looking for these uppity art supplies for third graders.  The brand on the list was Crayola but by the time I was able to get the green light to get her school supplies I had exactly one day to get it done.  In southern Indiana it was probably trending on Facebook as all of us parents were rummaging through back to school displays looking for these artistic treasures. Meijer, Ben Franklins, Walmart, or Michael’s if one was spotted a picture was taken and posted, with exact aisle and location of the store, what was the name of the store attendant and GPS coordinates.  I never came across Mr. Crayola and his 16 pack, but since I’ve now found out it was for art class donations they should be tickled pink they get 48 options to make elementary school art!  I’m expecting something along the lines of Monet and Rembrandt out of the kiddos this year!

Actually this woman wrote a hysterical post on the school supply list here.

Thankfully the gods were with me today and one of the Skipah’s Army members bailed me out on a boatload of stuff.  Women (or men) if you ever need a 31 bag she is your go to!  Men when your wife or significant other tells you they are hosting a party you have two options:  Go hide in the basement with your pet dog or go to your favorite watering hole and join the other men who were issued a “Get out of Jail” free card.  Trust me I speak from experience!

With all this school mumbo jumbo starting tomorrow and Skipah not having any time to prepare he was on his own today.  The fine folks at the my office let me slide out very early and it was off to school:  After care….check, monthly lunchroom volunteer gig…..check (although my breakfast club  buddy was already booked on another day), I got her signed up for cheerleading yesterday so she is now ready to start the third grade.  All the applicable staff are aware of what is going on in her life and have promised to keep me updated if they see any troubling signs out of her.

Not the finest quality, but needless to say she is happy!

Looking forward to more cheerleading pictures!  I will regret this once she gets older I know!

The rest of the day was encompassed around looking for supplies and those damn oil pastels.  Miss Madison even joined me and I think it was the most fun either of us had ever had at Sam Walton’s discounted paradise, FYI Kentuckian you all (or is it Y’all) know them as Walmart’s.  We played various games of chance consisting of guessing if that person is on the sex offenders registry list, does that patron have a drug problem, and we had extreme pleasure with the baby faced satellite service rep who kept badgering us every round we made.  Since it was roughly 9,000 degrees today with a heat index of industrial blast furnace capacity we made our little rendezvous into a indoor walking excursion.  Roughly 1.5 miles by my estimation. Don’t worry we kept up a “brisk” pace to fit in not like those mall walkers who swing their elbows like they are clearing space in a jungle. Plus I didn’t have a white sweat band to put around my forehead.  Don’t sit there and pretend you didn’t laugh since we’ve all seen the middle age overweight guy sweating his ass off in the mall on a Saturday morning.  You know what though good for him he’s doing something about it!

If I had my phone handy I would have taken a photo of the albino goth chick with knee high leather boots and shorts that had to be surgically conformed on her that she may or may not had to remove when using the restroom.  The eye stain she had on me lasted a good portion of the day!  There is a reason for a website called peopleofwalmart.com she would have made the southern Indiana delegation hands down!

Someone asked me the other day what is up with me and Kentuckians.  Unless you live north of the Ohio River in the far sectors of southern Indiana (the river is our border with Kentucky) you will not understand.  Thank god I live across the river from Louisville those are some of the brighter Kentuckians, out in the sticks its mind boggling if you have never witnessed it firsthand.  It’s a southern Hoosier’s birthright to take digs at Kentucky, we do it in good fun of course.  Trust me rural Indiana has its fair share of stupid, but they are my state brethren so they get a “partial” pass.  Something mythical happens as soon as you cross the southern border of Indiana.  You forget how to drive, count, use a toothbrush, the list just goes on and on.  I kid because I care, but ask anybody you know from Evansville to the far reaches of southeastern Indiana and they are going to have a good Kentucky joke.

About it for tonight, Hammy got ahold of some this crazy TreyMark Black-Eyed Pea Vodka somehow and is still celebrating from last night.  He says it’s better than anything he’s ever had from Russia.  He’s still rebuilding his KGB network since we moved to the apartment, but he found himself a pipeline to Texas evidently!