Second Base

(Disclaimer Mad Men spoiler alert continue to paragraph two if you haven’t seen it yet)

Well that was a letdown!  After spending a weekend watching Mad Men and getting super beyond stoked for the series finale, it was a dud.  I don’t care what the online reviews say, the official Skipah’s Realm review was two polar pops out of five.  Snooze O Rama, the leading man finishing the show meditating at a hippie retreat was just too much.  This is Don frigging Draper we are talking about!  Don Draper smokes cigarettes by the carton, alcohol by the gallon, and gets more girls than a high school quarterback.  Couldn’t we have one last ode to Don in the finale instead of turning him into a basket case seeking “enlightenment”, I never said he was a good role model, but come on AMC!  You nailed the Breaking Bad finale was expecting a little more from you.

Big day for me as I got to see Sloane not once but twice today.  Surprisingly slow day at the office and with the potential for rain this evening I thought softball might be cancelled.  So I enjoyed some school cafeteria sloppy joes and French fries with the blonde bomber.  I eat lunch there so much now Sloane instantaneously becomes the coolest kid in school.  I’ve been working with the boys and girls at lunch giving them valuable information they will need as they grow a little older and mischievous.  Things like how to start fires when you only have a gas stove IN THE HOUSE, blowing up G.I. Joes with cherry bombs, and strategically climbing trees and hiding from your parents.  You know essential information that I’m well-schooled in as an adolescent (sorry mom).  Just kidding mothers the boys and girls were all polite as usual.  Seriously though they can call me Gary I don’t mind it, Mr. Mathews makes me feel like I’m their teacher.  That second grade class cracks me up every time I eat there.  We had our photo shoot ritual and I sent all the corresponding parents a picture of their little prince/princess goofing off for the camera.  The only problem is Sloane takes a lot of the pictures and most don’t turn out so if you are reading this and wondering why you didn’t get a picture today.  Blame Sloane you have my permission to on this one.

Even better the rain stayed away, it huffed and puffed and spitted for a brief second but softball went on as planned.  Unfortunately the girls were still recouping from too much Disney and ice cream this weekend because they just didn’t have it tonight.  Didn’t help the stupid pitching machine was sending it in there like each girl was six feet tall and the other team actually had a few girls that were rather tall.  I believe the unofficial score was 4-1 and that was their second loss of the season.  Sloane wore the collar going 0-2 with two strikeouts, but she isn’t six foot tall either.  In the last inning though she got to play the infield, not just any infield position either.  She played second base.

  Well crap she’s got ring on it!

 Almost made contact, but loved her gummy bears!

Why is this relevant to me?  Because her father was a two-time Clarksville Little League All Star second baseman way back in the day.  Not to go all Al Bundy and relieve my youth sports career that would span six sentences and four of them would be filler fluff, but I loved playing second base.  I played a lot of shortstop also but second base was my home.  If it was hit to me I was going to catch it, throwing it over sometimes would be a problem and I honestly did air mail my first baseman so bad one time I threw it into the parking lot and hit a car windshield.  I had a better than average glove with the range of wounded sloth, and a howitzer for an arm with the accuracy of a bent rifle barrel.  So seeing my little Joe Morgan out there playing second was pretty cool.  She didn’t get any action, but did manage to make her work area the neatest on the field with all the dirt landscaping she was doing.  She kind of reminds me of myself at that age and baseball/softball still a runt compared to some of her teammates and not quite as good as most of them but neither was I and by ten years old I was one of the “good” kids.  I’m just so proud at seeing how far along she has come since March.

In other news today I learned that unless I become a kleptomaniac axe murderer chances should be slim to none my daughter leaves the area.  Since I don’t own an axe and I’m not a klepto chances are I should be good.  Keeping her in the same school is by far no guarantee, but if I can keep her in the 47150 area code I’ll take it for now.  I’ve got community leaders ready to write letters for me, I’ve made friends with local media figures online that are ready to at least use their social media influence (much bigger than mine) to help me out any way they can.  My little community in southern Indiana/Louisville is pretty awesome.  It helps out also when you start an online friendship with a WAVE3 personality (NBC affiliate) about a lead on a story that my dad blogger group made headlines with weeks ago.  Why I shied away from social media for so many years I have no idea, it’s awesome, and now that I’ve learned to use it properly very beneficial.

About it for tonight, like I said last night I’ve suddenly become Don Juan in the world that is online dating.  To recap since Friday night I’ve got a 43 year old teacher interested in me, 33 year old occupational therapist, 30 year old nurse, and a 25 year old (who the hell cares) teacher!!!!!!!!!  Don’t know if it’s my James Bond looks or my affinity for Katy Perry (definitely the looks I’m guessing I mean hell I turn down Chippendale requests all the time, yes Sloane that is sarcasm), but got a few messages to respond to and retool my plans for the fight going forward!

Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Woah, damn. Gary, save some women for the rest of the world!

  2. Al Bundy was the man! That show was great before it jumped the shark!

  3. Al Bundy! Oh man I feel old just thinking back to the days where we’d watch that show as a family. Quality times there! Glad you got to see Sloane in your old position, that’s a #ProudDad moment for sure!

    Yay for having awesome contacts/resources and knowing Sloane won’t have to move away, that’s great man! Maybe that ring should get pawned for a new bed for Sloane though, I’m sure she’d appreciate it.

    Enjoy the nice selection of dates, Mr. Bond, hoping you can throw that parade for yourself soon enough!

Tell Skipah all about it!