Skipah’s Center for Disease Control

New Albany, IN has never been confused with Philadelphia!

Did you know Star Wars comes out tomorrow?  Did anybody have any idea?  Hell I think my Charmin toilet paper has advertisements on it.  Seriously this crap needs to stop like pronto.  Freaking apps to block out spoiler alerts on social media?  Hey dumbass it’s social media it’s our generation’s Wild West only without six shooters and one horse towns!  Evidently Hammy just saw the Star Wars trailer again today, so I’m hosed.  He’s bouncing around like Yoda hopped up on amphetamines now vowing to destroy the dark side.  Might have to slip some Benadryl in his vodka tonight so I can get some peaceful rest.

Sad day for me and Cincinnati Reds fans all over the world.  We trade our most popular player for the equivalent of a six pack of Schlitz and a crate of used baseballs.  It is the winter of discontent for Reds fans as our players are going to other teams and we are going to be fielding the equivalent of the The Bad News Bears, only major league style next season.  Throw in the fact are bazooka armed closer has turned into a madman and Pete Rose got bitch slapped this week, it’s not a fun time to be a Reds fan right now.

Not going to let it get me down though as it has been an exciting week up to date.  Monday night was the initial committee meeting of the Southern Indiana Colon Cancer Awareness project that I was invited to participate in.  I was a little nervous and anxious at first since I’ve only done a 5K walk and raised a little money on their behalf but I actually know nothing about colon cancer other than it is cancer.  Our fearless leader is an exuberant young lady that really is on a mission to inform the public about colon cancer awareness.  I don’t have a lot of details as of yet, but look forward to future posts about this topic.

Top notch is the only way I can describe this committee

What I can tell you is colon cancer is very treatable if caught early.  If you have a history of it in your family or over the age of fifty take your butt (literally) to a local gastrologist and get a colonoscopy ASAP.  The committee’s goal is to spread awareness by any means possible and fundraise for treatment.  I don’t know if it some kind of divine calling, but after 20 minutes into the meeting I was sold hook, line and sinker on helping them out anyway I can.  Sure I own this website that gets 74,000,000 million hits a day (or 17 unless the natives in Florida get restless then it really spikes) so unless my future post on underwater basket weaving goes viral I’m not going to exactly get that much awareness out via my blog.  There are other ways though and I hope to exploit them the best I can!

I have found my calling!

Thanks to a team of civil engineers that must have gotten their degree from the University of Phoenix seeing Sloane tonight was out of the question.  The Lincoln Bridge is open now, but it is temporarily nothing more than a replacement for the Kennedy Bridge right now while it gets a new facelift.  I was able to get down to Banjoville, KY yesterday to see her perform in the school Christmas extravaganza, it only took an extra hour to get there.  By the way devil’s advocate, yesterday was a “free” day meaning it was an event at school and I can attend, today I was up against the clock.  Big difference!

Traffic was backed up to exit five tonight!

That’s Sloane to the left of the pointy Santa hat.

Anyone that has to go that long without seeing their child I’m here for you, it absolutely sucks!  She about knocked me down giving me the biggest hug after her show.  Thankfully I get her the first week of Christmas break so we will be spending plenty time together soon, but going two plus weeks is not an easy pill to swallow!  Not seeing her for that amount of time really sucks when a hack job report based on lies and hearsay is the reason why.  One day when I win the lottery or find a cure for the latest Center for Disease Control epidemic known as bitterbitchiness.  I’m am going to start the largest nonprofit organization in the world for single parents that are financially unable to play “the game.”  Look that affliction up also, these people need our help ASAP, and it is ruining society as a whole!  I’ve only started researching the disease but early returns tell me that one of the best possible treatments is “To get a freaking life already”, however once bitterbitchiness has set in the ability to use common sense goes out the window.  I’m in a disease curing phase of my life right now, just bear with me.

Hammy….check, Sloane…..check, what am I missing tonight?  Oh, Miss Madison that’s right!  She is doing just fine grading papers and cheating at Jeopardy this week.  I’m sure when I arrive there tomorrow and we catch up on a few Jeopardy episodes she is going to know the answer to “What was the name of King Henry VIII love child” and various other obscure answers.  No worries though I’ll just undercook her chicken next time and while she is fighting off food poisoning I’ll get the truth out of her and her Jeopardy cheating!  I kid because I care…maybe, I don’t like to lose.  Freaking highly decorated teacher (click on that link, Miss Madison is awesome) who uses degrees as wallpaper against a guy that washed out at Indiana University worse than Lamar Odom at a brothel.  Come on Alex throw me a bone and give me some sports and pop culture categories!  Never mind, I forgot Miss Madison is a TMZ junkie also so I’m screwed!

Fishermen would say this is a keeper, I’m prescreening her for bitterbitchiness!  Thankfully no symptoms as of yet!

Big news coming up soon with Miss Madison and I, no we aren’t getting engaged before anyone speculates and goes all Donald Trump on Twitter.  She did go all Beyonce on me the other night, but it was in a joking (I think) matter.  No we aren’t expecting either so no reason to check out any online gift registries!  All I can say it is parent tested and kid approved and we are both excited about it.

About it for tonight, it’s time to slip Hammy a mickey in his White Russian before he really does believe he is a long lost Jedi!  I’m going to read up on colon cancer and I really do want to find a cure for bitterbitchiness!

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  3. This has to be the first time in many many many years I could care less about baseball starting. Even when we sucked during most of the 2000s we were usually competitive up until the All Star break.

  4. Helping others that are less fortunate is about as gratifying as it gets. I wish I had more time to help many other causes, but for now I’ll stick to this one :).

  5. Sorry about the Reds starting their “fire sale.” We in Philadelphia (not to be confused with New Albany IN) can identify. Hope all is well!

  6. Fist bump, buddy! I got involved with the Relay For Life thing a few years back, and it’s a satisfying thing-not about me feeling good about myself, but in being surrounded by hundreds of people all happily dedicated to the fight.

    I also want to thank you for this pun. Made my day….”Hell I think my Charmin toilet paper has advertisements on it. Seriously this crap needs to stop like pronto.”

    How many of us have sat there with our toilet tissue, thinking the same thing….?

  7. The cost difference alone from a colonoscopy and ONE chemo treatment was just mind numbing to me! No vacation plans as of yet….stay tuned!

  8. I think I mentioned before my mother died of colon cancer, diagnosed exactly one month after she turned 50. Good for you for getting out there and trying to get awareness going; the symptoms as you know get so easily mixed up with other ailments, until there’s blood involved and then it is usually advanced.

    Ooh, upcoming news? I am going to guess a vacation of sorts? 😀

  9. Sorry to hear that! I’m really couldn’t express in words enough how awesome this is that I was asked to participate. The education I got Monday night alone in 20 minutes was worth it. The awareness level is so low for this particular cancer and it’s so treatable if caught early!

  10. Thank you for supporting the cause, my MIL died from Colon Cancer and hubby is battling small intestinal cancer - last chemo treatment will be on the 23rd - #IHATECANCER

  11. I believe in literature class that is known as “foreshadowing”, so you will just have to wait Miss Saber!

  12. Ooh! I’m excited! What’s the big news?

    Glad you have Sloane the first week of Christmas! 🙂

Tell Skipah all about it!