I talked about June being my month a couple of weeks ago well so far it has sucked raccoon nuts!  Any loyal long time reader remember the umpteen billion automobile woes I had last year that I still pay for to this day.  Well yesterday when I was leaving to go to lunch guess what, my car wouldn’t start.  The legion of shade tree mechanics I work with couldn’t figure it out either so it had to be towed away and I am awaiting word tomorrow on what the problem is.  Hopefully it’s just a sensor, but with my luck I probably did something much more catastrophic.

Someone I have never met or even spoken to though did make this silly blogging thing all worthwhile to me.  I told you about the Kisses for Karyn fundraising page I was going to promote, well that woman was very thankful and if I raise five or 5,000 dollars the fact that one year ago I had no idea the kind of reach I would have worldwide and that putting a smile on a complete strangers face because a blogger is trying to help her child out makes all the other shit I’ve had to endure somewhat worthwhile.

Why do I bring this up because like Hammy said last night “We are going to the mattresses”, (AMC was running one of those all day Godfather marathons needless to say he’s hooked) I got my butt ripped May 13th by my attorney (I don’t agree, nobody agrees, but she is the family law expert so I’ll side with her) since May 13th can someone please tell me what I have done now to piss off the ex?  One example?  Does she get pissed because I have fun with my daughter and share it with everybody?  If I want to post pictures of she and I doing any activity ranging from playing house to committing grand theft auto (probably not recommended) it’s my right.  I own the website and she is my kid.  So I have no idea what I’ve possibly done to get yet ANOTHER summons threatening me, oh wait a minute I do know why.

It’s not a secret anymore, I knew it a year ago, hell even Ray Charles saw it coming (btw Kentuckians he was blind) but I got the official paperwork that drumroll please…..She wants to take Sloane to Lawrenceburg, KY home of three stop lights a Denny’s, and a couple of truck stops.  I knew it was coming but seeing it in black and white scares the living shit out of me! The claims as to why are completely bullshit, except for the getting married part.  That was went down before I got the paperwork so hell it’s even bullshit.  June 25th is for all the marbles.  Any one that is friends with me on Facebook saw the post last night and I was very humbled by everyone all over the country that called or messaged me.  Big puffy hearts to all of you.

Personally I don’t see how this is remotely legal since by law I’m supposed to get a 90 day notice and she’s giving me a little over sixty, but the more I see how the IPTG really works I think it was a bunch of lawmakers getting together after another boring day in session discussing appropriation bills and what to name the next state park getting hammered up at the nightly card game and said “oh yeah” we got to do that Parenting Guideline bill we promised.  On paper it’s pretty fair and cut and dry of course I haven’t violated it and she has numerous times, yet I’m the one going in the poor house on legal fees and she had a house bought for her.

Enough of that though what is the big counter offer for taking my daughter out of the area into the land of tobacco stripping and guessing what drug a person is on?  Three Friday and Saturday nights a month and I get the long weekends also during school.  So I’d go from a roughly eight days a month to six.  Even though Sloane doesn’t want to move away and I’m not the one choosing this.  So out of three people two are stay in Indiana camp and one is in leave the area camp.  It’s her choice to leave the area, nobody is forcing her out, no job relocation (that was the lame ass excuse given, never mind she’s made the drive for the past two years anyway in a company vehicle), no tangible reason other than she just got married and that’s where they want to set up there Little House on the Prairie.  Totally fair, if I hit the Powerball tonight look out ex you think you’ve buried me in paperwork?

I did have a lively civil debate with a friend of mine today, she (mind out of the gutter reader) is a realist like myself and wasn’t pulling any punches with me when we discussed the matter before me.  Part of me does have to accept the possibility of it happening, and I get that, and I’ve been through way to much bullshit the past year to fully grasp that “Life isn’t fair” aspect, it’s not fair to a seven year old girl who has zero say in the matter either.  She’s more intelligent than probably most 12 year olds in the state of Kentucky (especially that area), she will no longer have a dad, friends, or grandparents to attend any of her after school events.  Two weeks from tomorrow I guess we will have a winner and a loser, but the biggest loser is Sloane.

Now I’m calling on all my fellow bloggers new and old to help me out!  Some of you offered me sage advice months ago and I’ve offered others pointers to new bloggers as well.  So for shits and giggles I thought I would start my own hashtag of #SloaneStaysHome, feel free to retweet this or share on Facebook and add that hashtag.  I don’t think it will be trending on Facebook or Twitter like if George Michael got the group Wham back together #WakeMeUpBeforeYouGoGo , but I’m bored and don’t have Sloane this week nor will I see her since softball is over.  Evidently #SaveSloane was already taken by a General Hospital fan in Michigan.

Hammy is sending out cables to all of his KGB rodent contacts, I’m in contact with my lawyer, and to quote George Jones “The Race is On!”

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  7. Nothing is final yet!!!!!

  8. A new car LOL, just found out it threw a rod

  9. This sucks, Gary, it really does. I understand how you’re feeling though. My niece lives half across the world from my brother, and it’s about the most unfair thing in the world. He gets her during her school holidays, that’s it. Horrible.
    Hoping things will work out for you and Sloane!

  10. FYI…..My husband is a pretty good mechanic and very fair priced. Let me know if you need anything!

  11. Send your baboon army down this way!

  12. Ugh this is bull. Complete bull. Not even remotely fair.

  13. Thank you, there literally is nothing there and she is away from everything she has ever known.

  14. Sucky.
    I’ve seen a lot of this over the years. So much. Like we could sit down for a beer and I could tell you story after story, but I won’t write them on the internet.
    Like you, I’d be worried about small town, bored as a teenager life that may arise if she stays there long. I’d encourage Sloane to continue her athletic pursuits.
    I’m very sorry for y’all.

  15. Thanks pal, Lawrenceburg is farther than a golf cart ride!

  16. This. Sucks. A. Lot. I’m infuriated for you and can’t stand the thought of having my daughter be so far away! Wish I had something good to offer here, but just my support will have to do. No connections or sage advice here. I will, however, send #SloaneStaysHome tweets all over the interwebs……or maybe just Twitter.

  17. I’ll keep you in my thoughts over the next few weeks, and I hope the outcome is favorable for you and your daughter.

  18. Hour isn’t a long drive, that culture she is could potentially land in though is beyond troubling!

  19. Gary, I know you don’t want Sloane to move away. I hear you when you say that you’re hurting. I will repeat what I said earlier: I moved every 2-5 years until I was 18 years old. A well-traveled person learns appreciation for different situations and people. Ok, so traveling to KY might not make her cultured, but it may make her appreciate IN a little more!

    Plus, while an hour seems like a long time, it’s just an hour. Thank God that it’s not more. My little girl moved 3.5 hours down the road, and I only see her once a month. But you know what? That one day a month is pure gold! We’re closer than ever before.

    Accept the things you can’t change, my friend. And if that fails, come have a drink with me.


  20. I knew Cinnamon was cheating on you a year and a half ago. It was obvious to me. Hell, she was probably cheating longer. That the courts would grant her this custody and move is reprehensible.

Tell Skipah all about it!