Spring Forward a Year

Somebody told me it was Spring as of last Friday, and this past weekend the weather seemed to uphold that theory, however chance of snow this weekend.  I don’t think it’s any mass accumulation but really old man winter take a frigging hike.  Hammy is back to “prison” rules as there is no March Madness to root and cheer for until Thursday and his bathtub vodka plan didn’t work out so well (I only had red potatoes he swears he needed russets) so he’s a been a little crabby or hung over this evening.  I did promise him Thursday after Sloane goes to bed though that he can watch some more basketball.  I think Hammy has succumbed to his own personal Stockholm Syndrome, but hell I need an ally when the Syrian gets here this summer.  I mean shit have you seen the news I don’t trust anything coming from Syria, this new little rodent is liable to come strapped with an IED on his back.  Hammy is still on restrictions though from watching The Americans I don’t want him getting anymore ideas while is he is currently behaving and not up to any espionage chicanery.  Plus I think he really likes the vodka, I even told him in two weeks when the championship is on I might get him something from his native mother Russia.

During my evening stroll after work I kind of took assessment of things from last Spring.  Last year I was chomping at the bit to get my garden tilled up and be the largest tomato farmer in southern Indiana (non professional division), this year I have zero desire to start a garden.  Just a three-mile trip of compare and contrast, I never saw myself a year ago telling silly sarcastic jokes and bitching about divorce and child custody to anyone bored enough to click on where ever they found my link, I would have probably told you to seek help for your meth addiction because you are obviously stoned.  I never imagined I would have to go a week without seeing my only child at times.  I never dreamed I wouldn’t be able to walk my beloved Suebee around the neighborhood anymore.  Not that we lived “comfortable” while married, but these days I feel like I was wealthy and affluent compared to the shit I have to go through now because of divorce, shitty luck, and more shitty luck.  Oh and a clear violation of my divorce decree, but I digress.  A year ago I had relented and agreed to go back to the land of the overpriced big eared mouse for a fall vacation, this year vacation isn’t anything more to me than a crossword puzzle answer.

What is a year?  It’s 365 days according to Webster (leap year not included), for me it has been a personal journey.  From happily married, to panic mode, to scared to death, to damn near dead, to recovery, to I just want my daughter half the time!  I haven’t always done the right thing this past year, in fact I’ve done a lot of incredibly stupid things.  However in the course of divorce stupid gets held against you no matter how trivial or benign you think it is.  Think of it has you are dating a stripper;  the sex is incredible and you get to walk around with this bombshell on your arm, but when you aren’t in public or in the bedroom it’s always something crazy going on that you can’t fix about that person or take control of the situation.  That’s been my past year in a nutshell, lowest of lows at times and feeling ten feet tall and bulletproof other times.  Divorce, post divorce, truly is a roller coaster of emotions for various different reasons.

This past year made me reach down for resolve I never knew I had in me, made me a better man, a way better father, and I also have made a new life rule!  No more dating anyone with a stripper names!  Now on to my new promotion of “Katy Perry will sing at your backyard cookout” I may or may not be forming.  I’m going to get my date with Katy Perry I’ve garnered some patience in the past year, but I’m not a monk yet!




Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Feel free to share my blog, any man going through a divorce (or women) I’m more than willing to offer advice, 2015 is going to be my year just a got a few more obstacles to get out of the way!

  2. Oh man, you crack me up. That poor hamster is going to need some counseling here soon.

    Seems like it has been one heck of a crazy ride this last year. I just learned some of my neighbors are getting a divorce and I wanted to tell the guy about your blog and tell him he might want to look into getting a hamster.

    I hope your next 365 days are a little less roller coaster and a little more lazy river. And I’m rooting for you and Katy all the way!!

  3. I grew up in the crack head area but that so passe now in my area, it’s meth all the way now! Thanks for reading as always!

  4. As always a great post my friend! I for one am thankful that you got a divorce because who else would entertain me with funny, drunk, KGB hamster spy stories? Most importantly we would have never become friends if you didn’t get divorced! I’m thankful for our friendship and your support on many different things!

    The hardest part for me was ALL of the alone time! It about drove me nuts but, in the end I also learned soooo much about myself too and truly learned to love myself! NOW, I LOVE ME more than anyone else… Well, not including Kenny of course! 😉

    Oh, and I always say crack head and you say meth head… I wonder if it’s from our age difference because there where crack heads when I was in high school but not meth heads… There I go over thinking again!

    Hope you are enjoying your evening!

    Much love always,

    Lysa xx

  5. There’s a backstory to it LOL

  6. No more dating people with stripper names? Uh oh. That’s quite a long list!

  7. Thank you, that’s my pride an joy :)

  8. Hear, hear! Though Katy Perry is technically a stripper name lol
    Adorable picture by the way!

  9. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. The getting over part was actually quite easy she became a lying robot, the getting used to is still a work in progress at times. I’ll run rehab by the furry rodent but I got a feeling he isn’t going for it!

  10. Until I went through a divorce after 29 years I had NO idea what divorce was. When I’d hear that other people were getting divorced, it seemed like a highs school give back the ring thing. They say it takes 1 year for every 3 years married to fully recover. I absolutely refused to accept that but 7 years later I only beat it by a bit. Life is good. Divorce - not so much. Your blog shows the rawness of it and insight for what it takes to get through. Good job Skipah! Get that hamster into a 12 step program!

  11. I’m hoping she makes a July 4th showing at my unannounced bbq bash. (I know that July 4th thing is a little bit of a touchy subject over there!)

  12. Some days it’s great other days it’s a struggle

  13. I need to find a bonafide stoner to read my blog. That could get real interesting real fast on the comments. Hmm Katy Perry searching for Sunny Leone ok I got to get back to work! Thanks for reading as always enjoy your Nutzzo!

  14. It’s not really lonely, the time away from Sloane absolutely sucks, but I’ve learned to cope with it and adjust. Learn interesting things about myself everyday and of course I have my little KGB spy to yell at when I need to vent. Thanks for reading as always :)

  15. Great post. It’s amazing what 365 days can do. One hell of a roller coaster ride! Love that you’re in recovery and trying everything to improve and be better. I’m pretty sure that Katy will turn up soon. With this much positivity I’m sure she will.

  16. If you can find joy in the journey…

  17. That truly is a long year of some crap (denim twins), some not crap (Sloane), and just some funny stuff (vodka-drinking KGB rodents)!

    I’m glad you’re in the place you are now, because for one, I enjoy reading your posts (and I’m not stoned!), and you are obviously better off too. And hey, Katy Perry just might discover you one day and want to meet up. If only she were to search for “Sunny Leone”…..

  18. When you explain it this way you can appreciate the journey that you have been on. To think a year ago you were “happily” married…… Now you are living a truer life. Maybe a little empty without the constant company of Sloane…. but it is a true life. One that you are making amazing for your fabulous daughter and that crazy KGB spy…. I can only imagine how lonely it can be. But hey if you had not gone on this journey you would never have found your voice and never have met us bloggers…..

Tell Skipah all about it!