The Hatchback Mafia

Oh wow, Indiana rolled out another license plate this year, I think we have 59 different designs to choose from now! I finally figured out the southern Indiana rapid rise in crime and why the streets are flowing with heroin and meth.  Look out Gambino crime family there is a…

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Fort Smathews

Happy Father’s Day!  Is it a coincidence that today is the first day of summer also?  I think not, today also marks what can only be described as tumultuous and rewarding 365 day swing in the life of Skipah.  June 19th, 2014 I learned I was getting dumped, June 20th I went to sleep and didn’t think I would wake up, June 21st I woke up in nothing but a hospital issued night gown not having no idea were in the hell I was.  Those dark days are long past but I will never forget June 20th as it defines who I am today.  I got a second chance on life and while it’s definitely kicked me in the nuts REPEATEDLY this past year I’ve never let it break my spirit.  Although too many more kicks and I might be looking into permanent deformity and walking with a limp.  Can a brother catch a break!

Quick tangent I’m going to bitch about, I groaned about buying a Mother’s Day gift last month, but I did it.  Nice little sterling silver earrings that say mom on them.  They weren’t el cheapo either, but not exactly “break the bank.”  Sloane saw them and wanted them so I purchased them.  What do I get a pair of sandals from Walmart?  I’m sure the ex was laughing her ass off when she bought them, oh well such is life in the land of petty.  As far as Sloane knows they don’t fit me!  That’s o.k. the biggest gift was hanging out with her and her endless supply of energy.

She let me sleep in because she is super cool like that and then by the time I had the proper amount of caffeine in me to function as an adult it was fort building time.  We stripped beds, got extra sheets out of the closet, and moved all the dining room chairs into the living room.  Even woke Hammy from his weeklong vacation as his cage was the perfect height for what we were trying to achieve.  Sloane appointed herself as the supply chief and made me lead engineer.  We rented an excavator and a bulldozer and got to constructing!

(Dammit, let me vacation in peace!)

After about an hour of me yelling instructing Sloane to do this and that we finally got it built.  She loves it, and plans on making it her bedtime quarters this evening.  I reluctantly agreed I guess I’ll be sleeping out back in the hammock tonight!


(Comb was for Hammy, it wasn’t needed)

Once Fort Smathews (her words not mine) was constructed we were off to are second favorite place in the world the fireworks store to get more goodies for one more night of entertainment.  Six bucks later and an armory of parachute men and neon sparklers we were out of there I offered to take her out to dinner but instead she wanted salad and one of her dad’s world famous hamburgers, trip to Kroger with the necessary supplies and we had a wonderful dinner, of course she ate in her new fort.  In other news I’m already writing an acceptance speech for the “Father of the Year” awards coming this summer in Reno, Nevada.  Not to get cocky but I’ve stayed in hotel rooms smaller than what her fort is (Radisson—Covington, KY screw you!) Just kidding fellow dads it what we do to put smiles on our children’s faces.  Dads of daughters I can personally tell you that this is way more fun than playing with American Girl dolls!

Up until I had a child and especially with has trying this past year was the little blonde bomber always puts a smile on my face especially on Father’s Day.  Growing up without a father myself this day usually meant I’m watching the finals of the U.S. Open golf tournament and bouncing up and down about the prospect of going back to work the next day.  Not anymore!  In one of the few breaths of fresh air to actually collect my thoughts and not chase a seven year old around (i.e. using the bathroom) I thought about all she and I have done in the past calendar year (no particular order):

  1. Took her on her first Ferris wheel last year at Kentucky Kingdom (less than a week after a life altering event)
  2. Taught her how to ride a bike
  3. Took her to her first and second Cincinnati Reds ever  game. (32-36 this year but won four out of six did someone say playoffs!)
  4. Had our first daddy-daughter dance
  5. Took her skiing.
  6. Became the most popular lunch room dad in the history of her school (Maximus, Johan, and double J nice try but she’s got her heart set on doctor’s son right now (dream big sweetie), personally all three of you are pretty damn cool in my book though and wouldn’t even think about showing you the shiny shotgun in the closet if any of you ask her out when the time comes in 20 years!
  7. Become the top seller in her Girl Scout troop this year (ok her mom was part of that also but I sold more!)

I know there is a ton of other stuff, but the point is I’m thankful for every day I get to spend with her and even more thankful that lost and confused man from a year ago fully recovered.  Wives can come and go if that is the path that the silly game of life takes you down, you are only a dad once though and this past year Sloane became my best friend in the whole world and the last person I will ever let down.

This is the week of court, Gary the blogger who crossed one too many imaginary lines so that makes him an unfit dad.  Sloane the child that does not want to move, who even asked me today if she gets to go to my wedding should I ever get re-married since she didn’t get to go to her mother’s.  Gary the dad that has sacrificed everything financially to keep Sloane in his life, versus living the high life at the parents’ house and leeching onto to someone else to buy a house for her.  Too say I’m going to be on pins and needles this week is an understatement.  Everyone and I mean everyone that has reached out to me personally, socially, carrier pigeon, Pony Express, email, etc….I can’t thank you enough.  I am humbled at the amount of adoration I have received this past month from all of you.  I’m fighting this battle alone, but feel like I’ve got pieces of the whole world praying for me and offering me support.  The blogging community especially, and bloggers I’ve gotten to know personally through social media thank you for all your support!

Fear not though loyal reader if Thursday goes bad, there is a backup plan B.  Can’t divulge the details on here obviously, but another thing I’ve learned in the past year is how to use social media.  Marriages are public record, and I’m smarter than the average bear.  It’s not going to come to this hopefully and I told myself a long time ago I wouldn’t cross this line, but I’m not losing my daughter without exhausting every option I have!  I’ve been put to the brink, and I’ve kept one silver bullet in the chamber the whole time.  Friday, June 26th it will go off or it will be holstered.  Time will tell, but it will be a no turning back now moment.

About it for tonight, it’s time to blow some more stuff up one more before I go on my week long siesta without Sloane.  Wish me luck readers, this is going to be the most trying week of my life!