Back to blogging and better than ever tonight. Needed a couple of days to cool off before I found myself sitting in a cell block in Leavenworth. No worries I’ve got a new outlet to vent on. SkipahSoundsOff was officially launched yesterday, it is password protected but fear not loyal reader hit me up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest or go old school and send me a message to [email protected] and I will be more than happy to give you the secret cryptic words. Hammy and I scanned over thousands of KGB files to come up with the most top secret of passwords!
At SkipahSoundsOff you can get my take on just about any topic. Katy Perry’s dimensions, blogging and SEO tips (that is Search Engine Optimization Kentuckian), my daily dose of anything dumb a Kentucky resident has done (actually that could be its own series), really nothing is off the table! Single dad tips, bad parenting fails, favorite recipes, it’s going to be my “off the cuff” site. Even better its password protected so it will be stalker free! If I don’t like you then guess what to paraphrase the soup Nazi “No blog for you”! No worries 99.9% of you are happily invited. The only criteria for non-admission is if you think the earth is flat or you cut me off on the interstate yesterday (you know who you are asshole), other than that every one is invited!
The Skipah’s Realm board of directors thought starting a new blog site was my best course of action after events that unfolded on Monday. Long story short I was going to be accused of kidnapping by taking care of my sick daughter! The blonde bomber has acquired the dreaded strep throat and her school called ME first Monday. The shenanigans that ensued that day and the next couple are tragically comical and downright legendary! Did you know I have a crowdfunding page aptly titled #SloaneStaysHome? Evidently the folks at FundedJustice.com didn’t think to highly that it has now come under attack. Things are about to getting mighty hectic in Skipah’s world! Prayers, good luck talismans, and any voodoo tactics loyal readers have would be greatly appreciated!
My current good luck talisman!
Hammy has laid off football gambling for the last week and has turned into a baseball savant! He’s claiming to me that he has somehow “fixed” the National League Division series and is guaranteeing me the Chicago Cubs are finished. I did notice he was wearing some gold “bling” around his neck today. When questioned all he could muster in broken English was “baseball has been very very good to me”, I also did a random cage sweep of his abode earlier and found vials labeled “nuclear gorilla testosterone” and the name Daniel Murphy scribbled on them. I kid because I care Cub fans, I would have to check the annals of history but there is a good chance there is nobody alive on the planet that has ever seen them win the World Series.
It’s Wednesday so that means only one thing! Welcome back Sloane, not counting the aforementioned pick up Monday it’s the first time I’ve seen her since October 12th. Not a whole lot of fun tonight for us as she is on the mend with her strep throat. However, has I promised her last time she was with me we would go through her mussel shell collection from Door County and display them in their rightful place in the hacienda.
Lake Michigan doesn’t produce shells like the ocean, but plenty of mussel shells to go around!
Sloane just wanted to contribute to the decor of the apartment!
Miss Madison is battling a bit of the sickies of herself so all the girls in my life are ill in one form or another. Dr. Skipah visited her yesterday but evidently I didn’t pack enough hugs as she isn’t doing much better today. If we can pull it off though she and I have come up with the coolest Halloween costumes ever! Next Friday is the school fundraiser costume party dance and we can’t wait to attend. If we can get our outfits synched up we potentially could have a shot at winning best couple. I’m fully confident in this, unless the duo that went as Forrest Gump and Lt. Dan reprise their roles. Not going to mention what we are going as….yet, but any longtime reader might be able to figure it out. Miss Madison did get a little reprieve from the sickies last night as we had s’mores over the fire pit I built for her this weekend. I thought a dose of me and a roasted marshmallow/chocolate sandwich with graham crackers might cure her, but evidently my magical powers don’t cure colds.
Miss Madison thinks in my former life I was an arsonist….I haven’t fully denied this!
About it for tonight, Hammy is booking trips to Jamaica after the start of this baseball game. I need to get on Facebook and remind Cub fans they will always be the Cubs, and I’ve got a few other tricks up my sleeve I need to attend to. Murphy’s Law (I couldn’t resist Cub fans)….don’t piss a man off when it comes to protecting his women! No that isn’t some bravado bullshit to make me sound like some tough guy, I’m smarter than that, and I own a website and choices in my life are now under attack!