The Texas Two Step

Would somebody send me an umbrella?  Not just any umbrella either one that can combat this acid rain that constantly falls from this dark cloud that will not go away!  Diagnosis on the car today is it needs a new motor as apparently it threw a rod out.  Yippee frigging Skippy (pun intended), at this point carjacking is sounding like a viable option.  Sick and frigging tired of bad luck, Murphy’s Law, or whatever other “cute” saying there is for shitty forthcomings.  Hopefully I’ve tagged Katy Perry enough that someone in her camp will actually get back to me and she will take pity on me!  At least the Reds have won four in a row!  In other news there still double digit games behind the Cardinals in the division.

I got TWO donations for “Kisses for Karsyn” yesterday!  My fundraising career is off to a furious start, I’m hoping to leverage it into one of those cushy non-profit executive posts where the CEO skims off the top and lives a lavish lifestyle until he gets caught.  Just kidding, but thank you to the two of you that donated.  I am sure Karsyn’s family appreciates it more though, just click on the adorable picture of her at the bottom of your mobile browser or in the upper right hand corner if on a computer and throw Karsyn some love.  Remember loyal reader Sloane is banking on a T-shirt if I raise enough money and trust me you do not want to let her down!  Also if you have any leftover change after your three figure donation to “Kisses for Karsyn” you could contribute to my dad blogger buddy who is trying to keep children healthy himself with his participation in the Great American Milk Drive.

With all the friends I’ve got in Texas now I’m going to have to take a trip down there.  I actually lived there once when I was the ripe old age of four.  My memories of Houston are vague at best but I do remember the Astrodome, we lived on the second floor of an apartment building that you walked upstairs from the outside, and an infant neighbor whacked my three year old sister upside the head with a wooden shoe.  Rumor has it Texas has changed a little bit since then and I’ve been told to stay the hell away from Houston if I can.  So depending on how much car repairs are, this never frigging ending divorce/custody arrangement, and whatever shitty luck that I’m sure is coming my way maybe in the future I’ll remake the south Skipah style.  Don’t worry Texans I know how to smoke meat over mesquite and I own a pair of cowboy boots.

I may have to borrow a ten gallon hat though they don’t sell those in Indiana.  I’ve met one fellow blogger since I’ve been doing this shit, and it was a short abbreviated visit since it was on a school night but look forward to making it happen if it works out, he’s from Cleveland and has been talking way to much shit in my Dad Blogger group about the Cavaliers.  Hell I’m ready to try that new age concept of “air travel” again a year ago I would freak the hell out when my ex was on an iron bird.  Stay tuned, plenty of Mega Million and Powerball drawings coming up or I could invent an allergy meth like substance that cures allergy.  I could be the Walter White of allergies remedies and get rich that way!  Okay off to read up on my chemistry and pollen derivatives.

Hammy is about to get himself a new roommate and neither he nor Sloane now about it yet.  I griped and bitched about getting a second hamster but an opportunity came before me this week that was too good to pass up (i.e. free).  The Hamster Rescue League (or a friend) contacted me about taking care of their Syrian hamster and putting endless smiles on Sloane’s face.  I was assured he isn’t part of ISIS but he will have to pass the eye test with me before I pass judgement, he goes by Mittens right now but I’m sure Sloane will name him something much more creative like Hammy the second.  I’m still guessing ISIS or at least a Syrian rebel why don’t the Israelis have a hamster species I’d take Mossad any day over ISIS and the KGB!

About it for tonight, but loyal reader please remind me if I ever utter the words “I do” again to make sure it isn’t on the front porch in a rural part of the state without my daughter and family around.  Even better make sure I am not using a new relative to oversee the proceedings.  Just a story I heard today and made me laugh my ass off.  I’m a little more romantic than that so no worries here, if I ever get married again it will be on a beach and all you can eat crab cakes!

Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Pingback: A Walk to Remember | Skipah's Realm

  2. Welcome back America’s leading novelist commentator. Been a whacky week for sure.

  3. What the… I must have missed something in this post because I did not read anywhere in it about your visit to Arizona?? Jeez, I see how you are! 😉 LOL

    If you find one of those umbrella’s clone one and send it my way please! As my Daddy has said since I was a kid our family is cursed! I can’t believe the news about your car though! When did this happen? I know I’ve been in my whole introvert mood again lately but it’s only been like a few weeks right? I have to ask because I feel like I have missed out on like a year’s worth of stuff here.

    I have driven through Texas on quite a few different occasions, been in the Dallas airport twice on a layover but that’s it. Have ALWAYS wanted to go to San Antonio to visit have heard some pretty cool stories about that place. It would be a cool road trip to just drive around Texas sightseeing but as big as that state is it would take like 2 months! LOL

    Whoa on the Isis Hamster there buddy… You have to come up with something else there! Just sayin’! Okay I’ll shut up now! Oh but wait I just can’t help myself even though I know better but when has that EVER stopped me?!?!

    A front porch, rural/hillbilly America wedding officiated by inbred relatives are ALL THE RAVE these days didn’t you hear? I’m sure Modern Bride just forgot to write about it in their latest edition said NO ONE EVER! I’m still saying brain tumor or serious drugs but am leaning towards the latter so much that I’m about to fall over!

    Praying your luck changes soon! Hope you’re having a beautiful day today!

    Much love,
    Lysa xx

  4. Just my like anymore 🙁

  5. Acid rain? That sounds harsh! D:

  6. Thank you so much, hugs from across the pond! Yeah I’m sick and tired of vehicle woes!

  7. 3 Donations now! 😀

    Sorry about the car! Mine has been sat immobile on the drive for quite some time now, little Hank The Tank refuses to play! I guess it’s my fault for going for a classic collectable!


  8. Milk does a body good!

  9. What is it with you Texas bloggers and Houston? Nobody has anything good to say about Houston LOL. Yeah I’m perusing the interwebs for new motor, can a brother catch a damn break!

  10. Nothing wrong with being biased if the reasoning is sound.

  11. Do I need to watch Urban Cowboy again? #Bud&Sissy

  12. Oh yeah, and thanks for the plug!

  13. Go Texas! Yeah, Houston is no fun, and I’d avoid Dallas. Even Fort Worth is starting to get to be a little too much, but still manageable. You have a place to stay if you do visit, unless you bring a 10 gallon hat, then you CAN go to Houston.

    Sucks about the car. Sometimes you can find a good used engine online for a fair price depending on the car. That damn Murphy really never should’ve made a law….

  14. Texas is a good place to be, biased though I may be.

  15. Yall come on down! I make.some mean enchiladas. I’ll take you to the world’s largest honky tonk and take you hiking.

    And I promise there won’t be any front porch weddings! Might be a mechanical bull and some ‘ritas, though! Yee haw!



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