The (Un) Intelligent Woman

Coming soon either a nasty case of food poisoning or my new favorite restaurant! 

Madison, Indiana has officially become the corporate headquarters of Skipah’s Realm.  Paperwork has been filed with the post office, next of kin have been notified, and I’m on a first name basis with the local employees of Circle K, Kroger’s, CVS Pharmacy & Lowes.  Since Miss Madison and I were sans any offspring this weekend we put the finishing touches on the new office and even had time to fit in a couple of episodes of Jeopardy.

Life is good!

Big news for Miss Madison, the board members had a secret clandestine meeting last week and have promoted her to vice president, or better known as the person that makes sure I don’t write anything to get myself in trouble with my non fan club of blog stalkers, camouflage fashion models, and residents of Kentucky.  It’s a six figure salary (by the way can I borrow a couple used Monopoly games anyone) with benefits and stock options.  The board even let her have her own little space on here and look forward to some future product reviews from Miss Madison on “girly” things like beauty supplies and cosmetics.  I reached out to Victoria’s Secret on my her behalf, but they called me creepy and hung up on me.  Just kidding, I’m holding out for Frederick’s of Hollywood!

Every Hoosier’s worst nightmare!  Snow and that license plate on the roads!

All kidding aside the transition to Madison, Indiana has been great.  I’m 39 years old and have never been with any one in my life that thinks so independently and intelligently.  It’s a pure pinch me kind of experience!  We might have the occasional disagreement on politics, but hell Mary Matalin and James Carville seem to be doing just fine (neither of us are that far left/right politically) so no worries there.  International readers you may want to Google those two to get a background reference.

Even better she is a DIY’er!  That’s do-it-yourself Kentuckian, Mr. Skipah’s super cool bachelor pad pub style kitchen table with medusa level ugly chairs….no problem for her.  Quick trip to the fabric store, super cheap sale on five yards of high quality fabric, and to quote Rocky the flying squirrel…. presto!  For one Abe Lincoln greenback (plus Indiana sales tax) we now have re-upholstered kitchen table chairs that literally Rock the Casbah!

Five bucks, a staple gun, and a cordless drill can do wonders!

Back in November I received my 15 year service award from my employer.  Working for a huge corporation has many benefits and many downfalls.  The benefits though kick some major league butt when it comes to service acknowledgements!  Mr. Skipah juggled between a 32 inch LED television and a two foot wide propane smoker has his reward for 15 years of playing Mr. Slate at the stone quarry.  In the end the smoker won out since I already have a 55 inch television (don’t judge), I can work some magic with a smoker (non Marlboro division) and can’t wait until it shows up on my doorstep in the next week.  Sloane, Miss Madison and her troops are going to be ecstatic once they get a taste of some fresh pulled pork and baby back ribs this spring!


The company cookout should be a doozy this spring!

Speaking of Sloane, she for all intensive purposed got “dumped” last week on her grandparents under the guise of “she doesn’t see them as much anymore”, I call bullshit!  Sloane’s full time part of the world got hammered pretty well with Snowmaggedon 2016.  Tuesday will be the first day she has had school in a week, and she got to spend five days last week in vacation destination New Albany, Indiana with her grandparents.  I’m all for her seeing her grandparents as much as possible, but certainly not at my expense.  It’s well documented I get her four freaking days a month now and god knows she would only see my mother (her other grandparent) on days I have physical custody of her.  I don’t know if her stepdad is sick of her or the powers that be don’t want me to ever see my child, but Miss Madison and I were in the New Albany area Saturday and I was told a big fat NO on taking Sloane out to lunch and spending the day with us shopping for improvements to the corporate abode.


Thankfully I had a better day than these two last Friday!

Mind you, since 12/26/2015 I’ve had her all of three nights and her long last grandparents have had her for six or more nights.  I don’t feel like adding the days up on the calendar because it just pisses me off!  Maternal grandma and grandpa have been so played and brainwashed they have no idea what is even going on.  I can’t get any answers via email nor texting on events going on in Sloane’s life so I just get to bend over and take it.  The next freaking person I hear tell me to “work on getting along with name redacted…rhymes with itch” I’m seriously going to throat punch!

Seriously, who could get sick of softball pictures of Sloane?  Certainly not me!

If you haven’t been in the custody battle/divorce arena don’t even try to comprehend what is going on.  I’m not belittling anyone, I take all the advice I can get, however this is a special kind of stupid.  Willing dad wanting to be involved in his only child’s life as much as possible and I’m told no I can’t take her to lunch or she can’t hang out with me on Saturday so she can spend more time with her grandparents in a week than I get in a month.  Does that sound fair?  If it does then you are either a rich person that can afford to play the family law drama game, man hating woman that uses the kid as leverage, or just a freaking idiot!  Read this if you need to bone up on a narcissistic way of life.  Shout out to Adventures from the Maple Tree for throwing that link my way on Facebook.  For the record (since I’m stalked I’m sure my inbox will blow up tomorrow), no answer on why Sloane isn’t in Girl Scouts, no answer on softball in the spring, no answers period on anything pertaining to Sloane.  To say I’m pissed off and frustrated would be an understatement!

Send Skipah Sailing!


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  4. Thanks Virgo! I’m one lucky dude!

  5. You all are such an awesome Trio. Love it!

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  7. She will scream from the mountaintop she doesn’t want to live there. We had an “interesting” conversation this weekend about stay tuned this week :).

  8. I never get this type of behaviour with children. Kids are smart and they know when they are being used. It sucks you have to wait till she is 12, she seems an intelligent young lady who knows her own mind

  9. Thanks for the advice Carl, thankfully I haven’t had to put up with outlandish charges like that! I can’t wait until she turns 12 she has told anybody that will listen she wants to live with me.

  10. I went through the custody visitation wars. Even faced criminal investigation for allegedly molesting my daughter at 2 and 3 years old. Ex and fellow conspirators trained the kid with one of those anatomical dolls. Fully exonerated in time. Then got custody of them in early teens. Be careful what we wish for. I thought of changing their names to Suspect #1 and Suspect #2. They are in early 30’s now, Best advice: when together make it the best quality time you can. Work on those school projects together. Ex ALWAYS want to be rid of the kid for school projects work. Those memories will be the most treasured by the child and you as well. As the child gets older the ex will have little control over the child’s visitation wishes(demands) with you. Stay clean and sober and be ready and available for that emergency ” I need help” call from the ex whenever it may come as it surely will. .

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  12. Thanks! If only I would get the chance!

  13. There’s something magnificent about a dad who wants to be involved!

  14. Hey the Breyer Festival isn’t that far away, Miss Madison and I will be there! She can give you DIY tips and you can tell her again how “effing” crazy those horse people are!

  15. I never had a shot at 50/50 and that is all I ever wanted! When her despicable life blows up I just hope I can protect Sloane or she is old enough to figure it out on her own!

  16. Ugggh…that’s so frustrating. My ex certainly gives me my fair share of trouble - but we worked out 50/50 and I try to be fair about extras. I feel your pain.

  17. %[email protected]$%*[email protected]#+)%(*!_#(%*_#(*$&^)(@#&%+)!(*$_+(*@$_(%*@_#* That woman is just infuriating!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!

    Love the Sloane Pictures…. Of course we are not sick of them 🙂 Love that you and Miss Madison are together and on this journey of life xoxo AWESOME!!! OMG The chairs are rocking it…… BRAVO!!!

  18. I’ve had some of my best conversations with her while she is sleeping and I’m waxing poetic about Ronald Reagan!

  19. It’s great that you and Miss Madison are getting along so well. You clearly make an excellent couple. If you can cope with a political differences every now and again without it turning into a fight, then you’re clearly doing something right, especially these days. True, my wife and I never fight about politics either, but that’s only because she instantly starts yawning the moment I mention the subject. It’s hard to argue when the other person is snoring.

  20. Thanks Amanda! I’ll get my day eventually, it’s just weathering the storm right now.

  21. I’m glad things are going well on the new home front. Miss Madison seems like a real keeper. You deserve someone that makes you so happy!
    As far as Sloane is concerned, I hope you win the lottery or somehow get privately funded to get another day in court. In the meantime, write EVERYTHING in a journal to prepare for that day.

  22. One day pal she and I are going to be in the DFW area and having a good ole time. You two could go on for days on “healthy” food choices for hours I’m betting. When the smoker gets here stay tuned for some awesome pics!

  23. There is a law, unfortunately the only way I can fight it is with more attorney fees. I’ve gone broke three times over on attorney fees, and it’s pretty much got me divorced and defending my blog in court.

  24. I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face, if mommy wants to not play nice and isn’t a crack addict you are literally pissing up wind as man.

  25. That’s brutal on the weather and kid front. One of the biggest problems with family courts is the automatic favoring of the mother when it comes to custody. I was lucky and my parents were open to letting me bounce around between them but I have friends who were stuck with a parent that was not the best environment for them. I also have friends entering this custody battle arena and have to say that it’s frustrating even for an outsider looking in.

  26. Hmm…I, unfortunately hate my ex-husband with every ounce of my being and wished a building would fall on top of his head only we have three children together. As much as I hate giving any of my time up, particularly because he’s the one who decided to move on to something better, I would never deny my children time with him. I thought there was some kind of law where the other parent gets the first opportunity to watch the kids if they need to be watched. How in the world do you get so little time? My hats off to you for handling it so well. If I were in your situation I’d probably be in jail not that I am suggesting anything of course. In the end, she will realize that it was her mother who kept her from you and will resent her for it.

  27. Nice work on the diy chairs, no wonder she’s VP now! Not cool about Sloane or that “itch” rhyming person, sorry man. But hey, nice choice on the smoker, looks pretty awesome!

  28. Thanks Athena, the never ending soap opera just won’t end!

  29. Heading over to Amazon now!

  30. I can’t wait for it to get here!

  31. I”ll have Hammy look into that, that is more of his forte.

  32. Chairs do look great! Glad things are going well in your new home. 🙂

    Sorry to hear about the lack of time with Sloane. I wish your ex would see the benefit in having you active in Sloane’s life. It really is important in so many ways to have you around a lot. It’s not natural for a kid to not have their dad around, especially one that really wants to participate! So frustrating!

  33. Ugh. More softball, less hardball. Also- may I recommend Masterpiece money? It goes to the millions and is nice and thick.

  34. The chairs are lovely. Thanks for photos of them. As for the smoker, that is a marvelous thing to have, and no one could make better use of it than you. Happy smokin’!

  35. Most people consider poison to be the tool of a female killer, so maybe if you slip a little poison in her food? Since you are male, they wouldn’t expect it coming from you. There are many types of poisons that are pretty well undetectable (considering where she resides now - they are dumber than trained sows!), you will never be caught!

  36. I just figured with it being winter and all your maple tree had lost all it’s leaves.

  37. Can’t believe this crap is still happening. Karma is a bitch, and I can’t wait for a certain someone whose name can also be a seasoning or a stripper meets that lady!

    Thanks for the shout out! I guess that’s your way of telling me after 6 months, I need to come out of retirement. lol. I’m sure my blog will be flooded by your 4 readers now, so I will work on reviving it! lol

  38. It is a freaking struggle!

  39. Good luck. My son is fighting the same battles. It is hard and exasperating. He does his best so that his daughter is part of his life even if infrequently.

  40. It technically wasn’t “my” time this weekend, but I was in the area and she wanted to spend time with me. It wasn’t like I was “intruding” on others people time. Next trip I make to Indy I’ll be sure to have a pulled pork sammich handy for you!

  41. Glad Miss Madision is a DIYer 🙂 Chairs look great!
    I’m sorry for your time loss. I hope you’re documenting these things for your next trip to court. Her time with her maternal grandparents should be on her mother’s time, no question.
    It won’t be long before Sloane starts wanting to socialize with her peers more than her family, and in the interim, you should get ALL your allotted time! I’d be furious, too,Gary. Not even those chairs could cheer me up, but I’ll admit, a pulled pork sammich might prove comforting.

Tell Skipah all about it!