Editor’s Note: I have was not compensated by W.W. Williams….Your welcome whomever
You write a blog post bitching about your ex-wife having personal photos of yours truly on her Facebook account and less than 48 hours later the Amazing Kreskin has hacked her Facebook and made them disappear! Welcome to my world of blog stalking or I’m more influential in the world of social media than I give myself credit for. The good news is though I’m not pictured directly next to a Billy goat the bad news is….wait this is all good news. I think I’m officially severed all ties with her on social media but Google Plus and that is only because I can talk to my daughter online when she isn’t here. I think in the past year I’ve managed to get blocked on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and if not for Sloane and the fact Google is omnipotent I would probably be blocked on there also. #Winning
In my latest get rich quick scheme to combat all things divorce, debt, and shitty automobile luck I had my winning lottery ticket under my nose the whole time. My daughter! Her little Leprachaun love story got me more comments than I get in a week both on here and through other forms of contact. I’m talking about writers/bloggers that I really look up to also not just family and friends that have no choice but to say it was good or I cut them out of the nine figure will that needs divided up someday. After I told my budding star/egomaniac how well it was received she wanted to immediately start another story and another. I’ve been doing this for almost a year and in one night she goes half viral. Really after some of the feedback I received today it was one of the more proud dad moments I’ve had, and to think her mom balks at this creative writing/blogging stuff! I’ve set her up on the IPad tonight to peck away and trying to think of a way to incorporate her own short story column page on here. Remember loyal reader I have her every other week up until the end of July and that is a definite! So stayed tuned for more of Short Stories by Sloane in the near future.
After the end of July nobody knows the fate of young Mrs. Sloane and where she will be long term, we are T-minus seven days and counting until my own Brown vs. the Board of Education showdown. #SloaneStaysHome comes to it final crescendo, fight promoters are contacting me daily now for the exclusive rights and pay per view action. We’ve settled on the promotional literature for the upcoming bout, “Don’t let Sloane go hick, keep her out of the sticks”, I’ve settled on a relatively unknown promoter out of Hazard, Kentucky and even though anyone is allowed in an Indiana courthouse to see a hearing/fight unless it’s closed we are selling tickets for fifty a pop proceeds go to The Fathers’ Rights Movement and Kentucky Board of Education. I’m hedging my bets, either some other poor single dad will have some support behind him or my daughter will “hopefully” get a boost in state funding next year and excel in something other than tobacco stripping and how to butcher the English language.
As for the blonde bomber and I weather didn’t want to cooperate. Once I picked her up we decided we could get to the quarry in time to fish before the weather moved in. Technically we were right as we were there fifteen minutes and then a good old Ohio Valley thunderstorm swelled up and we were headed back home in no time. We got three casts in and got two fish that would get you in the hall of fame if you can do that consistently.
“I caught a baby, dady” More like pre-natal infant!
Perspective is key, this bass was smaller than it looked!
Fortunately for Rosy I talked Sloane into giving the rodent the night off before PETA caught wind of this and I had a bunch of psychotic protesters outside demanding I build Rosy a miniature Disney World for all her suffering. Sloane relented but did say she still needs training, diabolical is about the only word I can use these days with Sloane and her new Syrian hamster. As for Hammy, not since Dan & Roseanne Connor hit the lottery (and jumped the shark in the process), has anybody had so much fun. He used his contacts to smuggle some Russian caviar in today, shot spit wads at a physically depleted Rosy, and since I had the A.C. down a little too low this afternoon was taking selfies in his ushanka and posting them on HotHamsters.com. He hasn’t had life this good ever.
About it for tonight, got to do a little more research on MY FIRST EVER SPONSORED POST! (Technically product reviews are but this one is actual money) It’s not exactly Chevrolet or Sony but hey beggars can’t be choosers. I’m sure I’m not the only dad/lifestyle blogger that got this offer but who cares. Also have to start designing blueprints for a kick ass living room fort that Sloane and I have been talking about for Father’s Day. She’s staying with grandma Saturday night and I’m cool with that, but Sunday afternoon we are going to continue to live by our golden rule. HAVE FUN!
Late note, tomorrow is the last day for the “Kisses for Karsyn” fundraiser to support MPS III/Sanfilippo. I’m up to ten dollars I have to match for my Texas friend’s Great American Milk Drive. Help both causes as I am vowing to donate a quarter to every dollar donated to Kisses for Karsyn!