Well what a frigging weekend.  The Reds still can’t beat the class act cheating St. Louis Cardinals, Thunder over Louisville officially kicked off The Kentucky Derby festivities in my area,  the liquid nectar that is known as Diet Dr. Pepper was out at my local Circle K this morning and I’m single again.  Mutual decision, I’ve got enough drama in my life don’t need anymore.  The hashtag #BitchesBeCrazy could be trending on Twitter before the end of the night so stay tuned.

We’ve moved the writing studios outside to the patio furniture I was able to safely barter for in the divorce proceedings.  I think I gave up $200.00 worth of country rustic bowls I had no desire to keep, a salad spinner, and some Samsonite luggage.  I still remember the look on her face when she tried to demand every frigging bowl in the house was hers because her friend had gotten most of it for her, before I reminded her everything was “ours” acquired through marriage.  So thankfully a bunch of silly shit that is now probably collecting mold in storage is allowing me to sit outside bathed in Off (mosquito repellant) to type some silly words, ok I’ll shut up everybody wants to hear about my date.

The date was phenomenal.  Left Hammy with a set of instructions on what to do if anybody broke in or the zombie apocalypse were to occur while I was gone.  He just sneered at me and reminded me he is KGB “he’s got this” go have fun.  Since I had a washer issue I wasn’t able to do any laundry and just didn’t like the available options at hand so before I headed out of town (forty minutes away) I stopped and got me a bitchin new shirt and off I went, I was told to even pack pajamas!  I made steaks on the grill and she made the sides and we enjoyed dinner before we went to a comedy show.  The show was awesome and the nightcap was sitting around the fire on her deck and enjoying a beverage or two.  You can use your imagination from there we are all adults.

    This turned into this     


I was told by her it was the best steak she ever had, of course it pained me to cook a filet to well done but I aim to please!

HOWEVER, I wasn’t the first one to wake up this morning and upon awakening I learned that my phone (I never have a lock screen on it, oops) had been rifled though.  I’m not quite ready for that kind of trust issue with someone I’ve only met twice and known for a month.  I talk freely and candidly with my peeps, and text conversations made between my best friend and I are intended for us.  So thanks, but no thanks ma’am it was a fun two weekends.  He and I “dug coal together” for a lot longer than I’ve known you and guys talking with other guys can say some rather raunchy things.  Sorry you got your feelings hurt, but you weren’t supposed to be reading my text conversations with my best friend.  Whatever her issues are I hope she gets them fixed, hell we had planned on going to my friend’s massive Derby party in two weeks.  I didn’t even take my own advice, I willingly dated someone from Kane-Tucky.  Good riddance!  I have baggage you have baggage, all of us in the divorced with kids bubble have baggage.  I got cheated on so did you, personally violating my space is an unforgivable sin.  I’m a ninja on snooping,  never crossed my mind with her it’s been TWO dates, my other ninja snooping prowess was warranted because I had a cheating ex wife and knew it.

Without details, no it wasn’t because I have an army of women knocking down my door, she just got her feelings hurt.  So now it’s back the online dating drawing board, plus my ever growing newly commissioned “League of Platonic friends” that always have their eye out for the Skipah.  The happiest person on earth now probably is my best friend because he will start receiving screen shots again of anyone I potentially find “datable” online.  He tags all of them with some creative names like Bears chic, the teach, the nurse, or the 29 year old you get the picture he’s not very creative.  Our running afternoon thread while at work is enough to get us are own sitcom, arrested, or both.

Once arriving home today though I was pleasantly surprised that my washing machine started working again.  Hammy said he fixed it, but I think I just got lucky.  I got Hammy and I some authentic Kentucky moonshine on my mini trip though and we plan on sipping it watching the Reds game tonight.  Watching the Reds play the Cardinals requires all Reds fans to enjoy something other than water.  We frigging can’t beat them! We are the national game of the night so I’m doubly sure we will get our butts kicked!

The sock dating pool didn’t pick up any new members today, but the dating pool just got a solid candidate back in the fold!

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  4. So, I updated my bucket list and added hearing you narrate some of your stories to it. And you should definitely start with this one.

  5. The dating process is always so confusing, and sometimes too much of a hassle. I’m sorry to hear that this woman’s trust issues ruined a good time. 8 hope that this special friend of yours that you mentioned is doing a better job at keeping things simple and somewhat easy.

  6. Too funny, dating really isn’t fun. Special friends are fun but dating nooo. We have all had our share of crazies why should you be different?? lol

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  8. “Raised the steaks” R.C., you nailed that one!
    Dang Gary, sorry to hear man, I was feeling good about this one. I’ve been married for 12 years and I still feel weird looking through my wife’s phone. Better to catch these things early.

  9. At least you found out her weakness early on 🙂
    Glad the washer is working again!

  10. What a weekend! Hopefully, this week goes much better and the next weekend will be here before you know it.

  11. If she was so curious, she could have asked. Unreal.

  12. Yeah, going through a person’s phone is a deal breaker! Negative cool points. Sorry to hear man, but you made the best choice. Guess that’s what happens when you raise he “steaks”! Ha, that was bad….

    Anyway, there’s plenty of fish out there…….hey, maybe cook that next time! 🙂

  13. Oh wow sweetie! So very sorry to hear that’s what you woke up to! I would not be a happy camper either! Hugs!

    Much love,
    Lysa xx

  14. Oh no, no, no! Male or female…that is a huge trust violation. Good-bye!

  15. You win some. You lose some. “It” will happen when you least expect it!

Tell Skipah all about it!