Hello Mr. Jefferson, save me a seat at the dinner table please!
Watch out America, the Skipah travelling road show is about to set sail again. With spring break looming and Mr. Skipah sans Sloane that week (say that five times in a row without stuttering), Miss Madison and I have potentially whipped up a little impromptu road trip. As much as I would like to go visit the California delegation and southern divisions of Skipah’s Army that involves a lot of the green paper with astronomical numbers like 20, 50, & 100. Mr. Skipah dabbles more with the famous guys like Washington and Lincoln when it comes to his currency choices these days.
Disclosure: Readers across the pond and Canadians, (Kentuckian that is the country directly north of us) George Washington is on the one dollar bill and Mr. Lincoln is on the five. I’m the kind of guy that gives you these nuggets of information so you can perform more proper internet searches of say Katy Perry’s hairdresser and Super Bowl commercials.
So here is the plan. Miss Madison has the unenviable task of taking a bunch of eighth graders to Washington D.C. so they can sleepwalk through boring tours and history lessons and end up working at McDonald’s one day. She’s about as thrilled to be participating in it as a polar bear living in Florida as this isn’t her first rodeo playing good cop/bad cop in our nation’s capital. Her trip comes to a climatic conclusion the Wednesday of spring break. She begged, pleaded, offered an unlimited furlough on “honey do lists”, and even said she would dance at my next wedding if I would drive the nine plus hours and pick her up to avoid riding the Greyhound home.
Yikes sending me to D.C. all alone could be a recipe for disaster, maybe I’ll drive on over to Baltimore to see if they are filming a sequel to The Wire.
“What’s the catch, Interstate 64 is the cure for insomnia” was my response, “I have a family friend in Virginia and if you can get off of work we can visit Williamsburg, VA for a few days”….SOLD! She’s the history expert, and I’m just a history buff so I’m all in on a few days of eastern Virginia. As an added bonus I’ve never been to D.C. so I get to spend a day there by myself while waiting on Miss Madison to complete her duties as “rock star” middle school teacher.
I’ll avoid all of former mayor Marion Barry’s old stomping grounds while perusing the city…..trust me on this one! If you don’t know who he is, I’ll save you another Google search. Former mayor of D.C. that was busted in a FBI sting for smoking crack in a hotel room while he was the sitting mayor! I would say only in America or as the hipster say #Merica, but then Toronto had the audacity to elect Rob Ford. D.C. one upped Toronto though because Mr. Barry got freaking RE-ELECTED years later. Yes this is a true story, the sitting mayor of Washington D.C. back in 1990 was arrested and convicted on drug charges and got re-elected after his release.
The fuel that keeps Skipah going on long road trips!
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson watch out, Monticello is on the radar and I’ve got a $50.00 credit with Krylon! Just kidding, I would only resort to graffiti if involved a University of Kentucky statue. In a month I’m going to be in the Chesapeake Bay area, do you know what this means? A proper freaking crab cake, I’ve been craving a crab cake for roughly five years now! There is no such thing as fresh crabs in Indiana unless you involve a hooker and a seedy motel room. As far as I know those kinds of crabs aren’t exactly “edible” so I’m already salivating dreaming of a crab cake.
Jamestown and Yorktown residents you are on full alert for the Skipah’s travelling road show. Newport News and Norfolk we will be getting reacquainted very soon. Miss Madison has even agreed to accompany me to my home away from home….the Outer Banks, NC for a day. I love that area so much the damn tourism board could hire me and I could convince Hawaiins to visit.
Other things I’m looking forward to is travelling with Miss Madison again. Our Door County experience was beyond awesome and this time we are without kids due to court orders and the fact my daughter lost a week of spring break since she is now a Kentucky resident, and they need all the schooling they can get. Except of course for Sloane since she has told me she is already “bored” with school, but I’m in a good mood right now so I’ll just stay off this topic for now.
About it for now, I’ve got to check with my Virginia contacts and strategically map my route according to what gas stations have Diet Dr. Pepper on tap. Virginia and D.C. you are officially on notice the Skipah travelling road show is coming soon!