Best Laid Plans

Living with a KGB & Syrian spy sometimes has many advantages.  As a rule they know better than to talk back to me and sometimes they come up with some great ideas. Hammy’s get a little absurd depending on how much vodka he has had to drink, and Rosy is still getting adjusted to domestication at the Mathews abode.  She did go and hide today though when I told her Sloane is back with dad tomorrow.  Hammy was heard yelling “Sucker” and then came up with the greatest spy plan since James Bond took down Le Chiffre in Casino Royale.

What was the plan you may ask?  Nothing magical, no territories were lost or gained, no governments were overthrown, and definitely no loss of life.  Armed with the knowledge of when Sloane was to return home from her weekend long party at Brownie camp and the fact the rendezvous point was at her school (three blocks away) I decided to incorporate my evening walk to coincide with her arrival home from Owensboro, KY.  I had help on the inside also from a couple of different parents (my school peeps rock), and Hammy had his KGB contacts giving us updates as they journeyed home.

Her mother told me they were to be back around 5:00 p.m. and that was the original plan, she never notified me that the new plan was 6:30 p.m., but don’t worry loyal reader the Brownie army keeps me in the loop on everything.  So with Katy Perry blaring in my ears and exercise on my mind off I went for my daily walk only I chose the school route tonight.  Even had a Skype conversation along the way.  Skyping and walking with dark sun glasses on is not recommended by the way.  Texting with the one of the moms and skyping is akin to walking and chewing gum at the same time but I managed to pull it off.  Once I got to the school I just kept on walking because the caravan hadn’t arrived yet.  Texted my inside contact and was informed they were getting off at the exit.  This gave me another half mile of exercise so this is a good thing.

When I made the flip to come back home I was fully expecting to see my little blonde bundle of joy when I came back by the school.  Once I got there though there was no reunion.  Evidently the caravan had ran into some traffic lights and some things weren’t meant to be.  I know most of you must be thinking why don’t you just stick around and wait for her to show up, the short answer is because I will get accused of stalking.  What mom wouldn’t let a willing dad see his child on a neutral site, Sloane’s mom that’s who!

Last year when Sloane had cheerleading practice I would always make sure to take my evening walk around the time she would be finishing up practice at school.  When divorce mediation came around this was used against me!  I was “stalking”, I just wanted to see my daughter, and during school I saw her every other weekend and on Wednesday nights.  Therefore I didn’t hang around tonight waiting on the caravan for fear of being accused of stalking.  Yes my custody case is that batshit crazy!  I can’t hang out at my daughter’s school and wait for her to arrive from a Brownie event on my non parenting week without having to weigh the repercussions.

This is what is has become, it’s frigging tragic, and only harms our daughter.  Man hater mom that does all she can to use anything against the other parent for personal gain you ma’am are an idiot.  Look up the stats of “willing” dads that want to see their kids.  We are dead broke because we have spent everything on lawyers just so we can keep our children in our life and get them at least half of the time.  For that matter look up divorce rates, sorry gals but you all are always chasing the greener grass, not the man.  Yes divorced woman I know that men have affairs also, unfortunately the stats say you all do more!

About it for the night, I’m checking out blue prints for a kick ass house fort for Sloane, dog cussing the Reds, and looking into Indiana stalking laws!