Camp Fire Lady Went to Town

After the last two days I’m certain I’m going to be a first ballot hall of famer in the National Farmer’s Tan Museum based in Davenport, Iowa.  The blonde bomber and I have set the record for most events recorded outdoors in 48 hours.  Mr. Hammy has enjoyed it more than anybody because as he reminded me last night when is that asshole Syrian coming to live with us. Hammy evidently has completed P90X training and is ready to get the inevitable rodent rumble on.  I told Hammy if I can keep her mind off of a second hamster maybe I won’t have to endure two of you miserable rodents.  So far six days in and not one mention of the second hamster.  Keep fingers crossed, Hammy is currently surfing the internet looking up Arabic for dummies language translation books.  Me I’m recovering from too much sun and way too much fun!

Yesterday when the alarm yelled at me to get out of bed so I could go play in the land of stone and dump trucks a light bulb went off in my head, and not just any light bulb this was one of those halogen bastards that lights up arenas.  I knew Sloane’s mother had left to go out of town either Thursday night or Friday morning.  Her mother says she can’t have a cell phone when she is with her because she has a cell phone she can use.  Well guess what I sent Sloane to the nursing home with her phone and a potential crisis ensued.  Jets were scrambling at Strategic Air Command to ward off the potential danger that existed with Sloane having her cell phone away from me!  Comical for sure, tragic definitely, but her grandmother was flipping out because the ex-doesn’t want Sloane to have a phone there.  Too bad I didn’t make up the rules, but I sure in the hell took advantage of them.  Sloane’s photography work needs a little fixing but she did want to show me her room, umm make that the living room.

The fun really started when I picked her up after work and off to softball practice we went two hours in the heat and all the girls were ready to lynch mob the coach.  He took in stride, cut up with each one of them and in the process of all that he has turned them into a slick cohesive fielding machine the past week.  My little girl threw the ball about as well as some one that is collecting a bounty on earthworms when softball started, now she can make a throw from the second base position to first like it comes natural.  To say I’m looking forward to Monday would be an understatement, he also reminded all of us there would be practice tomorrow (Saturday), and he really wants to win the Indiana State Great Lakes Region District A Pee Wee tournament.  He makes it fun for the girls though and his enthusiasm is off the charts.

After softball stopped in at the boy’s park so she could flirt see a couple of her classmates play and then we started our own little party at the house.  More smoke bombs and also lit off some sparklers.  By the way what person swallowed a lit sparkler back in the day that had them downgrade sparklers to what they are now?  Burnt out light bulbs put out more “spark” than what they are passing for a “sparkler” now.  Fireworkers union you need to man up and bring back the good sparklers, package them as vintage or something and double the price.  Sloane was none the wiser and thought they were cool, me I was lighting five at a time trying to recreate my youth.

#welderchic #ohwhatafeeling #legwarmers You have to be a child of the 80s to get that.  She was wearing my T-shirt not trendsetting.

  Practicing her best Sith Lord maneuvers!

From fireworks to camp fire as we roasted some hot dogs over and open flame on my new fire pit I recently purchase.  Paid about as much for it as I did for the damn wood I bought at the local gas station.  Either way it served its purpose and we enjoyed small talk, fire, and roasted hot dogs before we got the telescope out and did a little stargazing, we wrapped it up catching lightning bugs before coming inside a little after 11:00 p.m., I think we were both out by 11:01 p.m.

More to come later, the bomber wants to play some Nerf hoops now and get Hammy’s cage out.  Oh shit!   Too be continued……