The Weekend (Part One)

Happy Easter to all, with today’s awesome weather we moved the writing studio to the outside this evening.  Little ole Skipah sitting here in his speedo’s and wife beater tee shirt trying not to scare off any of the neighbors.  Now that you have a mental image stained in your head that you probably didn’t want let’s recap the weekend shall we?  Also I’m working on TWO blog posts today, that’s right two blog posts for the price of one tonight!

The bomber and I had joyous weekend, she got to do her Brownie workshop yesterday, but not before a school wide Easter egg hunt yesterday morning.  Thanks again to my friends for helping me out in a pinch.  Once I picked her up it was balls to the wall for the two of us.  She chilled in the hammock and made various assorted crafts while I got some school work done and then the two of us took off on our bikes like we wore the yellow jersey for a day.  Whomever is in first place in the Tour De France wears a yellow jersey for anyone reading this south of here, our trip concluded to a local ice cream joint for some dairy nirvana and to catch our breath.  Once we got home it was Easter eggs and silly jokes before bed time.

Today was some Easter goodness, which almost didn’t happen.  (More on that in a second)  The big ole bunny brought her some candy (not too much) a big Disney fairy tale chapter book, and a Cincinnati Reds T-shirt that she is going to look super cool in.  Breakfast and a personal egg hunt with good ole dad, and then it was off to moms for late lunch and some more grandparent bunny love.  I had to turn her over to the nursing home at 3:00 today.  Technically I had her until 6:00 p.m. today but her mother requested 3:00 p.m. so they could have their bunny time.  Me being the super coparent I am I agreed, I really wonder if it was the other way around if I would get the same treatment.  No more bomber until Wednesday, as we go back to the regular scheduled custody agreement, but she’s mine again next weekend hopefully all this rain this week we are forecasted to get doesn’t hamper our quest to “Have Fun!”

Last night was one for the ages, after Sloane started checking her eye lids for holes Hammy and I lived it up (with the great weather Hammy didn’t get tortured to bad this weekend we were outside), basketball was back on and he was chanting cryptic Russian spells against the Kentucky Wildcats for beating his beloved Irish the weekend before.  The furry little KGB spy was running around at breakneck speed during the last five minutes only stopping to take a shot of vodka.  His nerves couldn’t take it, he told me he hadn’t been this nervous since a mission in Afghanistan in the early eighties.  Personally I was following Facebook and cracking up at Big Blue Nation.  I poke at Kentuckians on here but seriously next time you are taking a dump and feeling blue (pun intended) jump on Twitter or Facebook and read the hashtag #BBN it is literary gold!

I also found out last night that Hammy doesn’t like bunny rabbits!  Hammy almost killed the Easter Bunny!  I was awaken sometime last night by some blood curdling screams.  Evidently Hammy somehow gotten ahold of my pellet gun and was wearing Mr. Bunny out with it.  When I got to his cage and asked him what was going on he told me yet another mission were a bunny rabbit outran him with a vital piece of information to give to the KGB and he had a strong disdain for rabbits.  Hammy I proclaimed this is the Easter Bunny it is bringing candy and gifts to children all over the whole world.  Do you think KGB wants that publicity and I’d have to out you as a sleeper agent.  No more vodka, basketball, and personal freedom.  He gave me the pellet gun back and said sorry in Russian and back to his house he went.  So if the Easter Bunny was late today in your part of the world blame Hammy.

On the bright side today when it was just he and I this afternoon I reminded him that baseball starts today.  What’s that he asked?  I explained to him the rules and nuances of the game and he was immediately hooked.  When I told him we will only root for the Cincinnati Reds, he became even more enthralled.  Reds??????  I’m from Russia that’s what we are referred to I like them already.  I explained to him how they had to change their name back in the McCarthy era when the “Red Scare” was a real thing.  I’ve now brainwashed this little rodent into loving baseball, and he has nothing but extreme vitriol for anything to do with Cubs and Cardinals!  I reminded him both where bigger than him but he countered that he is well trained with a rifle.  We don’t promote violence around here Hammy, even if it means our Reds can win?  Hmmm let me think about that one a second and get back to you.

Stay tuned for another blog post tonight.  I’ve got a few more things to rant about!